Honestly, it doesn’t sound like either of you are the AH. From her perspective, RSV and pneumonia are very serious conditions, so it makes sense that she acted out of concern. It’s possible that both of your perspectives are valid, even if they don’t align perfectly. You’re absolutely right to feel the way you do, and it seems like keeping some distance is what’s best for you and the baby right now. Maybe she did overreact, but in her mind, she was doing everything she could to ensure her grandson got the care he needed. Her reaction came from a place of concern—better safe than sorry. Sure, she didn’t communicate in the sweetest way, and she didn’t follow up as you might have expected, but not everyone handles things the same way. It doesn’t mean she dislikes you or cares any less for her grandson. At the end of the day, the situation turned out to be minor, and that’s something to be grateful for. But I’d deff keep her out of medical decisions like you said.
Sorry for the long message— but I also wanted to address PPD/PPA. It sounds like you’re in the thick of it but it does get better. I didn’t understand that sometimes it comes in waves and can be triggered by different situations. It sounds like you have a husband who is hopefully supporting you through it. I just want you to know that you are doing a wonderful job as a first time mom. You literally gave birth to an entire human being 6 months ago! The best advice I got for helping me get through it is to focus on myself and my baby… which it already sounds like you’re doing. From one momma to another, you are seen and supported and doing everything right. That baby is lucky to have you as their mommy. 🫶🏾
Gurl I just went thru a similar situation. I left my son with my partner to go see my mother who was having surgery. my son had a cough n an allergic reaction the night beforehand. ( we took him to the ER and didn’t even get seen cuz they was overpacked n understaffed left around 3am cuz the rash went away ) my flight was at 9am I spent the whole night up watching him he was completely fine so I went on my flight. My partner gets home after dropping me off at the airport n his mother starts bashing me “ she’s a bad mom “ you don’t leave ur kids in these conditions “ give him Tylenol “ story short they went to the ER again n he was completely fine lol
You didn’t do anything wrong they be overstepping n assuming we don’t know anything just cuz we are first time moms. Help that isn’t wanted isn’t help.
The problem comes in when they start implicating bad things n making remarks. If it was genuine help it wouldn’t come with it🤷🏻♀️
Honestly you aren’t wrong for feeling how you do, but I don’t think the mil is attacking you or your character it sounds more like that’s just her as a person since it’s something you’ve had prior issues with she just sounds a bit overbearing