am i going crazy wtf

Dude i am trying to be cordial and friendly with my coparent. We’ve both been pretty toxic, but we’ve decided to just co-parent and try to give our baby the best cordial parent relationship we could. I fucking tried. This man will bring shit up, and say things like “yiu think yeah you’re the only one with an opinion” and I’m like sensitive about comments like that because the whole Time I’ve been with this man he’s called me a narcissist which i spoke to so many therapists to diagnose me but they’ve all said doesn’t seem like a diagnosis that fits me. So already i have experience with him belittling me and trying to make me doubt myself. I’m obviously like stop talking about me in this way, bc you literally just asked to stay at my apt because you know i would say yes bc i would but in the same time you’re trying to make it sound like i only care about myself. All of this over me listening to my dr of formula made with whole milk & soy vs listening to him which he said did turn out to be facts but i was just listening to the dr. But still, he expects me to talk to him in an ego fragile way and instead of saying hey ur being a lazy dad, that i stroke his ego and say “hey i love when you’re being a dad, and it’s so attractive seeing you with the baby, so i would like to see more of that and less of how’ve you been, but are you ok?” But I’m like i get none of that behavior… And then he’s telling me i have an attitude tonight and he’s not trying to argue with me, but he just came at me, when all i did was talk to him about the baby and some help with a nail and then he’s bringing up news that he bought a car (i made a face and he said it was attitude) which i clarified it was actually confusion bc he just talked about stacking $ yesterday, then spent $600 yesterday + a trash ass car today which is whatever bc his money, i was just confused bc the switch up was so fast.
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**sorry this is so long** but also, yesterday he asked me to hang, cool we did. He said we could go to the casino if we weren’t watching the baby, me being burnt out, i called my mom and asked if she could watch him for two hours which he agreed. We were cool, we got there and he already kind of snapped at me a couple of times for walking too slow. Which is fair because i KNOW I WALK slow 😭 but also i never leave my apartment, so now that i was out at the mall and casino (what we did that day) i was just taking my time. He said can you understand me, it’s so frustrating being behind you and you’re walking so slow and then stopping out of no where. And I’m like ok.. then walk in front of me?? Fast forward to that night, we’re at casino, and we were playing, i used up the cash i was done with & had been drinking a beer, he was putting $100 bills in the machine and playing, so i ended up watching him towards the end of the casino experience, i was kinda bored but i was like whatever and

Enjoyed my beer and watched him. He lost the money then was like ok we’re going to bounce, i was again walking slow and drinking my beer, and he was like yo hurry ya ass up before i leave you or ( something like that ) and i was like ok if you want to threaten to leave me here then I’ll just have someone pick me up, and he said you rolled with me, if I’m telling you to walk faster, then walk faster. And i was like I’m still finishing my beer, and i was mad and i was like stop being bossy, I’m not your gf stop talking to me like i am, and he was like walking fast and looking back at me and raising his voice at me as we’re passing other people and it’s just embarrassing as fuck… so i just stay quiet bc im upset, chugging my Beer then we leave. And then he sees i have a straight face, and then he’s like oh being sensitive, do you understand why i was frustrated because i had been dealing with your slow ass all day with walking, and i was like ur just rude and straight faced just wanted

To go home bc i was just like i knew it. Then he started trying to touch my boobs bc my shirt was pretty revealing and i told him to stop and he kept doing it and i was like dude stop like you’re rude, I’m not ur gf, stop touching me and in the car touched my face and literally spent 25 mins in car in silence til he finally was like “im sorry if i was being rude” and I’m like bro not if, youWERE. And then he corrected his apology but I’m like am i being sensitive or is this mf crazy?? Like please help and thanks so much for reading

….. sorry but it all kinda sounds like you’re freaking out over nothing. The formula thing sounds like he knew what he was talking about and I get listening to a doctor but you can’t always trust them. The walking thing would annoy me and my husband as well and I don’t think he was actually threatening to leave you there. It’s just a thing people say. Like let’s go or I’m leaving you here. It’s cool you guys can hang out but make boundaries that are clear and know it’s not a date type thing. And sounds like he even apologized and was trying to be civil too for the most part. If we only had 2 hrs of alone time, I wouldn’t want to be dragging around. I’d want to make the most out of my time.

@Ashley i understand the formula thing might’ve been frustrating, but i it was still the way he said it. He grew up being controlled and it’s very telling. everyone relaxes at the their time and not to compare your situation to mine, BUT i watch my child majority of the time, while my baby’s dad comes spends like 6 hours with him throughout the week and sometimes the weekend. We both knew it wasn’t a date, he wanted me to join in on the fun. I am a slow walker, & i don’t think it’s “dragging my feet” because I’m wanting to watch people play at the casino I’ve never been to, and soak it all in. I was burnt out, not him. He has plenty of alone time. He had just gone to a bar with his friends the night before. And i understand sometimes people “just say that” but he always says, threats are a form of manipulation even if they’re empty threats. So he doesn’t expect that from me, so i expect himself to hold hisself to the same standard he’d want me to treat him.

Personally I couldn't do this. He sounds like a huge dick and needs to grow up. He knows you walk slow so don't invite you somewhere if he doesn't want to walk slow or grow up and expect you to walk slow. You're not his gf. He doesnt have to hang out with you. If you're coparents then the boundary needs to stop there. Your interactions needs to only involve the baby. No more sex, dates, or sleeping over. He sounds like he knows he can take advantage of and bully you to get what he wants and he likes it too. It also sounds like he thinks he's a "big man" and can talk to you any kind of way yet needs a place to stay. Sorry boo you're a grown man, figure it out or go on and fix your attitude if he wants to be around you like that.

He's gaslighting you. Be strong for you and your baby. You set the boundaries of how someone treats you. You can be nice and clear and set a boundary. If he crosses that he's showing you his true colors. Don't ignore it

@Megan yea for sure, i need to create boundaries and stick to them bc often time i go back to being like everything’s dandy for the sake of my child and also my sanity so im not holding a grudge or hating the father of my baby., but thanks so much you both for both your insight. The first commenters response made me worry that maybe me walking slow is really an issue most people would try to cut me for 😂

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