Keep feeling like I am a terrible mom because of how much I'm struggling!

I just had my first baby, in a country we just moved to a year ago, with zero support system in place and he is premature and at the NiCU. Logically I know all this is a lot to take for anyone and stress and crying and being depressed is normal. But the anxiety monster is constantly telling how not enough I am and bow terrible of a mom I am. 😞
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I feel exactly the same. I'm 13 days pospartum and felt like this since day 4 when I came home. I've been struggling massively with feelings of guilt and inadequacy, thinking that both my baby and husband deserve better. Sometimes it gets easier when I talk to my husband as he reassures me that I am doing great (everyone says I do but it's very hard for me to see) but it mostly gets worse when I'm on my own with the baby at night (we do shifts so we can both get some sleep) as I feel that she deserves better. I hope it will go away eventually but just know that you are not alone in this. Sending you lots of love ❤️‍🩹

@Yasmina Yasmina that sounds so rough. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I am happy to read your husband is reassuring you. I'm in a similar boat. He eases my guilt and sadness a fair bit telling me I am being very strong and being a good mom. But when I am alone with the baby or just on my own my brain doesn't leave me alone. If you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to send me a message.

Ur hormones are going to be everywhere for at least the first year. Please give urself some grace. That baby needs a happy healthy loving mom 🫶🏼 Please check with ur doctor to make sure ur not falling into ppd . Sleep will deff affect ur mental health so here’s a tip. For the first 9 months BD should take at least 1 night shift per week with baby so u can get full rest. Then For me after my baby was 9 months she started to sleep more at night so I didn’t need BD help at night much n I started to feel a bit more like myself. Every day it gets better . Now that she is 15m there is 1-2 nights per week where I don’t attend to her when she wakes up in the middle of the night n I let her self soothe bc mommy needs her rest too. I play sleeping music through the monitor and she has a blankie that she cuddles and that helps her self soothe. Luckily she sleeps the whole night about twice a week plus the 2 nights I let her self soothe total of 4 nights of full rest for mommy ☺️.

Once my baby turned 14m I felt comfortable letting her self soothe 2 nights per week no max 5min cry.. i also cosleep some nights she loves it. It’s the perfect balance. I really hope ur baby heals soon 🫶🏼 hang in there and please get some rest.

@Luz hello Luz. Thank you so much for your reply. I was slipping into ppd. I saw a doctor experienced in it this week to intervene and looks like she will be a lifesaver. My partner is super supportive so I am lucky with the but the prematüre birth and my depressive state has been hard for him too.

@Luz doing my best with the rest. The doctor said Melatonina is a good idea as it also doesn't effect breast milk too. Doing my best to find ways to balance rest and the NiCU visit as I live for from the hospital too

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