Losing you?

Has anyone felt like they have completely lost themselves? I absolutely adore my little boy and love being a mum. I just don’t bother with myself. I have absolutely no energy. Im nearly the size I was before giving birth so that not the issue. I Cannot remember the last time I put on make up and made myself feel pretty. I just get up look after my little one, take him to nursery, go to work. Come home, pick him up, do the bed time routine. Then cook for me and the other half (because apparently he can’t cook) I’m leaning from Gousto…. Then I’m just drained. Is this just how life is going to be from now on? 😞
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How old is your little one? The first 2yrs honestly it’s so hard!

Hes 1 years old x

I'm only 6 months in and yes I don't feel myself and missing so many things x

I get like this too ! It’s hard work keeping on top of everything and having time to look after you . I try and have some time to myself once baby is in bed !

My son is 4 and i still haven’t started making time for me - im certainly a new type of “me” now

If you LO’s dad is around (wasn’t sure from this post) well then he need to have baby for a day. You go out and return to you. Or take a day off work while they are at nursery. Rope in MIL or any one in the family to do a couple of hours after nursery. Get dressed, go into town, have a movie and lunch for yourself then go to pick up baby from the other person’s house.

It’s normal to feel like this, it’s a big adjustment and motherhood is selfless. You have to find time for yourself, take a day to yourself, get your nails done or something you loved doing but haven’t been able to. Get your eyebrows done, it’s the little things and also go for little walks alone when your partner is home, it makes a big difference for me. And just remind yourself that this is only temporary, baby will grow up quickly so this feeling won’t last forever. But try and have some you time, hope this sort of helps.

@Jane this sounds like heaven 🥹 yeah, dads around but pretty useless tbh 🫠

@Odine thank you 🩵

You have identified the issue - not prioritising time for yourself! This is hopefully when you can lean on those around you to help. Whether it be a few hours on a Saturday for some self care whilst baby is with grandparents or other half.. whatever your options are. Ask for help, don’t let guilt of being apart from little one stop you. We all need that time for ourselves.

Oh and your partner being useless is not an excuse! Leave him a play-by-play of what to do whilst you are gone. He will get better with experience.

I saw someone put something on insta the other day, you’ll never be you again pre-baby, but it’s about finding yourself again after, and the new ‘you’. You need to prioritise yourself, and make sometime for yourself. It is incredibly difficult. I’ve got a 5yr old and a 2yr old and when my eldest was 2.5yrs old is when I felt good about myself again (my hair/skin/weight etc) and then got pregnant, and now she’s 2yrs old this month, I’m finally getting there again! It’s a long journey but you definitely need to find time for you x

I didn’t start finding myself again until my LG was 1.5 when I went back to work. xx start small with yourself, quick bit of face cream and mascara in the morning or just a 5 min thing to make you feel better that’s not draining your time and build up. Putting on hand cream? A top you like. You’ll feel better for it xxx and at no point in having a child with someone did you sign a contract saying it’s ok for you to be bottom of the pile! Again it took me until LG was 1.5/2 to decide if you want me to basically run this house and give up my body to make babies, be the house admin, chef wife & work part time - then accept that I can’t pour from an empty cup! Once I changed my mind set that really helped xxxx

Yep. I wouldn't leave the house without my face on and now I'm truly Adam Sandler. I've put on about 3st too, it's been a rough ride, we think my lad is autistic and I've known from when he entered this world he was a little different. So my absolute all goes into him. I'm hoping as he gets older I get a bit of me back, but atm this is how it is and I accept that x

Thank you ladies 🥹🩵

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100% feel this

It's normal to feel this way. You have lost yourself to be fair. It's a proven fact that it takes women on average 2 years before they start to find themselves again after having a child. I've got an almost 15 year old and a 10 month old. I know from experience that life will get so much easier as time goes by. Life passes by so fast. You're in the thick of it now and it's so tough, but you will come out the other side and be "You" again. Stay strong, you're doing amazing being the mom of a little baby, working and looking after your family. Give yourself some grace and know that it will pass xx

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