Lost myself

I’m in the same boat, I lost who I am too I don’t even do the things that used to bring me joy anymore. I miss the old me at times . But I used to live in Chicago where all my friends are at I have zero support now that I moved to Arizona. I have one mom friend over here and that’s it. I just had another baby too so it’s been hard

Im right there with you. Its really confusing for me because i didnt know who i was before becoming a wife and mom, so its like i lost something but have no idea what im even looking for. Its like im just stumbling around knowing im missing something that could be super important, but couldnt even begin to guess what it is and no one can even help me.

I am currently going through this, my boys are 3 and almost 2 years old. It’s been a huge struggle to find myself again, I work full time and as soon as I set foot in the door at home I’m a full time mom. Outside of that I’ve found it hard to know who I am, I have maybe 1 person I call a friend and even that person I don’t really talk to much. I’ve taken solace in writing everything down, I have a journal for daily thoughts and other things and I have a completely separate journal for things I would take to my grave. It’s given me some sense of self but not what my soul has been craving, im here if you need someone to talk to or someone to consider your 4th friend online

At least you have friends, I have no friends, no life, no accomplishments. Nothing!. My son will be 2 in January and I had another baby 5 months ago. It's fine though

You’re not alone. I’ve lost “myself” in some ways as well when I became a wife and then a mom but that’s expected right? Life as I knew it was different, and in some ways I mourned my childless single life but I wouldn’t trade my life now for what was, I’ve learned to be grateful to be here. Especially at my big age.. Similarly I have 2-3 girlfriends that I really just came to know, given that I was born and raised in another country. I’ve sourced people from my gym community and through an activity I committed for my LO to take part in to be my village (of course while leaning into my spirit of different) I wear many hats and that’s okay, I’ve been myself for the longest so when i feel depressed or anxious, i lean into my creativity. I do workouts at home at times, read a book, go for long walks, paint with my LO, and plan an activity at least once a month for me to do solo-dolo. You will definitely overcome this season, focus on the things you can control vs. things you cannot.

Totally feel this! By the end of the day I feel so over stimulated, I sometimes go off at my bf cause he wants to cuddle and I definitely don’t want that. I don’t know who I am either or what I like anymore. Being a stay at home mom is the best and most difficult thing.

Plan something at least once a month so that you have something “big” to look forward to. Also, find joy in planning the little things week to week, little things eventually become big things over time… nurture those moments even more 🤍

I have definitely felt that way. A lot of moms go through that, so you're not alone. What helped me was therapy. Before I went to therapy, I was super anti-social and anxious, I was so self-conscious, I couldn't leave the house with just my son because I would get very overwhelmed and I felt like someone was always staring at me, judging me as a mother. I would cry about it a lot to my boyfriend because I felt stupid for feeling that way. I was also very burnt out, and I had no patience for anyone. When I finally went to therapy, she had told me I have postpartum anxiety and she gave me tips to help get myself out of it and how to be more patient with the people around me, especially my son. I'm not quite there just yet, but I can say I've started the journey to finding myself and getting comfortable with the new person that I'm becoming as a mom and I'm a better mom because of it. Just remember, this is momentary and you'll be ok. If you ever need to talk, I'm here 🤍

I understand feeling like you’ve lost yourself because even though I had friends, none of my friends had babies and everyone was always going out and I was the person who was always showing up with the baby. It made me feel like I just can’t be social or go out and do things so what I did was I started allowing myself to have a babysitter, I forced myself to go somewhere where I would have to get dressed up I would have to do my hair I would have to do my make up and after I did that I felt so good about myself, going out and having a good time I just went to dinner but just doing that made it easier to do it again.

I get this! I truly believe people when they say that postpartum is really up to 2 years before you start to feel more "normal" it's only been the last few weeks where I feel the pink starting to come back and part of that is planning things *I* want to do and involving my family with it, rather than planning for them. So while I have a routine I follow to help my daughter know what to expect, if I feel like I need to do something else to help me mentally, I'll do it. I also have been making time just for myself, even if it's 10 minutes a day where I am completely turned off mom and wife mode. So I'll close the bedroom door and let my husband deal with whatever needs to be done and just be by myself or go outside and take a short walk to help center myself. Am I the same as before? No but I don't think I could be with a kid. I like to think of it as upgrading myself because of course there will be change. It'll happen when you least expect it ♥️

@Tonya I'm right there with you. I was living my life in a way that would make my mom not be angry with me all the time. I freed myself from that hold for only 2 years before getting pregnant so I'm almost 30 years I only had 2 years to find myself and I never did

@Morgan its a hard and confusing place to be, but weve got this ❤️