What would be your consequence/punishment?

If your 11 year old had an iPhone but they weren’t allowed on it from 6pm onwards and you found out they’ve been using it throughout the night to contact friends, but during the day telling you they haven’t been (lying to your face) what is your consequence/punishment for this betrayal of trust? Curious to see how others would handle this themselves. Please comment how you would deal with it.
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I mean I can only think of when I was younger and how my parents handled certain situations if your cut off is 6pm and they can’t adhere to your rules then take the phone @6 and give it back in the morning and do that first like a month so they get the memo after about 15 yrs or so I wouldn’t care what time they got off the phone unless it was affecting school and school was calling me

I would take the phone off for a while and then doing just as above, to just take it off after the 6pm. And tell them next time if they lie the punishment will be more. I better take truth as it is then lying 🙌

If they were not allowed on it from 6pm then you should have the iPhone yourself in your room or locked away? I’d just do that from now on so they can’t use it. I wouldn’t really punish. Every single child who has a phone, and told not to use it after 6pm would 100% use it after 6pm if they still have it in their possession. I think you shouldn’t have given them access after that time.

As the parent you need to set a time or remind on your end to take the device at 5:59pm. Hide it or…put a hard passcode on the device. You could just take device away for a few weeks and make that a consequence too. Now he gets zero screen time. iPhones also have settings where you can disable the phone during certain hours of the day. You could do this too.

i knew someone that had to put their phone in a basket outside their room every night

This is a good question. I guess the issue is more the betrayal of trust than the actual phone use. If it was their first time I would express my absolute disappointment in them, rather than a punishment. An 11 year old is pretty smart and can pick up on emotional cues. Have a conversation with them (again) as to why they can’t have the phone and consequences of lying. I’d also be removing phone in the evenings

They would loose the privilege of the phone for a certain period of time. From then on it would be taken completely away at 6pm and put somewhere they wouldn’t know/able to find it

Not with the phone because it stays downstairs but I had this issue with the tv and him turning it on at 3 in the morning. Now before he goes to bed I have the remote. And the audacity that he bare face lies to my face really winds me up. But we’ve tried every punishment going. Taken stuff away, grounded him, cut his bed time back and the stupid lies he gets caught in sometimes are ridiculous

You can put a lock on their phone from the family settings. I gave my son an old iPhone for when we are driving but at bedtime it locks and needs a password I made up to extend time or it sends a text message to me to ask for more time. Same with downloading apps from the store and adding contacts

Umm 🤔 I have access over my kid phone and iPad. I would shut down his access so he couldn’t use it since he lied.

They’d lose that phone for a while and once they get it back I’d be monitoring their usage. They break that rule again, they lose their phone for good and I’d make sure they’re aware that’s the next consequence.

Take the phone away for a while and explain why you're doing it

@Tiffany we get the same with my step daughter. She wakes up at 5am and watches tv. I ask her what time she wakes up and she said 7am. Even though I've caught her with her tv on sometimes and told her to turn it off. Same with the phone situation we took it off her and charged it on the landing. I went to the toilet about 5am one night and caught her coming out of her room to go on her phone. Asked what she was doing and she said checking the time 🙈🙈 what is with the lies! If my mum and dad set me boundaries and rules, I wouldn't go against it and lie. I'd respect it. Things are so different nowadays

My children's phone locks after a certain time so all they can do is call ppl. Turns out my daughter figured out the password and was unlocking it at night. The next day I asked her about it and she lied to me. I told her ik the truth so she better come clean and asked again. She fessed up. So I took her phone away for a week, and she did extra chores for lying .

Take it over night for some time until you trust them again and explain how lying and trust was broken so it makes the situation deeper.

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The biggest issue here is the lying. If I can’t trust you to tell me the truth, I can no longer trust you with a phone. The phone would be mine for awhile

Take away the phone for a bit and then once returned monitor it.

Take it away.

Thanks all for your answers. As a side note, I do have parental controls on it. However my parental controls are still allowing her to use things AFTER her downtime and I can’t seem to work out why. So yes, I DO have parental controls via settings.

For some reason messenger kids just won’t lock!! I have time limit on it, it’s not in the “always allowed” apps. the rest of the phone locks but this one app just wont. I told her this and specifically said “please don’t break my trust by going on it after 6” but I can literally see her messaging at 9:30pm I have taken the phone as of 6pm. I’ll definitely be keeping it overnight now. I think I might take it completely for atleast a few days and she can work for it back But does this mean I should also take her Samsung tablet too? She has the exact same apps on it so I feel like if I take the phone but not the tablet, it doesn’t even matter lmaoo I think I just answered my own question

100% take the phone chargers away, watch them slowly panic when it’s dying 😂

Def take the tablet 😭 no devices

Kids only TRULY learn a lesson when their consequence is a direct reflection of the crime. So in this situation the phone should be taken away for a while until she can prove she can be trusted with the phone after hours

The phone would be mine for a while. It’s a privilege, not a right. My 15 year old hasn’t had a phone since September for this and over use during school and it wasn’t the first time he was warned, so it’ll be “a month of Sundays” as my grandma used to say, before he gets it back. I have Verizon so I am able to set restrictions but he’s a crafty lil somebody so watch for that. lol when I turned off/block him from texts and calls aside from me and other trusted adults he just started using discord etc. 😩😒🤣 This is Sparta now!

@Maddi yes! I was so glad when I upgraded because they would just steal mine! It’s an addiction for them sheesh

bye bye phone and tablet. my little brother is this age and soooo sneaky with his technology, even though my mom has restrictions. he straight up lies to her face it’s so infuriating

Take the phone off them and/or start making them leave their phone downstairs on a night or in your room this way they’re not tempted. If they use the excuse they need it as an alarm clock, buy them one instead

Thanks all! I have taken the phone for 2 days minimum. She needs to work for it back. And when she gets it back, it comes to me at 6pm. If she wants music or an alarm clock, I’ll buy them so they’re seperate.

No more phone unless it’s needed for safety. Its a privilege to have at that age. This is a perfect example of how children can’t handle them.

I would have their phone locked after a certain time. Also i would talkto them about breaking trust

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@Sarina it is way past this point. That conversations been had atleast 30 times, and even then, still went & broke the trust

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