Friendships after a baby.

Hi everybody ✨ my little girlie is now 10 weeks today! I feel like in the last few weeks I am so happy and when my partner comes home from work I’m absolutely fine but during the day even though I’m laughing and giggling and bonding with my baby i feel so lonely, I used to have lots of friends and go out every weekend but now my closest friends I barely speak to them now. My best friend since we were little hasn’t even meet my baby and I just feel like I don’t have anybody like that’s on par with me. When I talk to my friends its all about how wild there weekend was or how they’re feeling and how they have the fear and I’m just over it. It’s draining to talk to them because I just don’t have that common ground. I don’t drive so I’m struggling to go to baby classes with my daughter because there is literally none local to me. Sorry for the big rant lol I tell my partner and he’s like but you do have friends and you have me which I get but it just doesn’t feel the same with any of my friends anymore.
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This is really normal. You are just at a different life stage to your friends now, and you can still be mates, but you would benefit from some mum mates. Not driving doesn't help, but can you take a bus to classes/ meet-ups? Or use the app to make a friend in the same area as you and go for walks? It will help just to have one mum friend, then you'll enjoy both types of friends again as it will serve different purposes. X

Can you try to get your license? As a sahm I can’t be one if I couldn’t drive I’d be in the same position as you and frustrated and lonely…at least taking my boy out even to the shopping centre or baby groups fill my days, I’m around people and there I’ve met some of my closest mum friends which is def what you need. It’s also nice to go out w them every couple months but even when you do go do you have to get dropped off or get a lift? Having a licence would give you so much flexibility Xx

I totally understand that! You guys are just in different stages of life and it’s very lonely and isolating. I had a friend who had a baby shortly after I did and just kind of disappeared which I get since she works too. Then my husband had a friend that had a baby and we got excited since they’d be close in age and I liked his wife but they kind of went MIA and we are finally seeing them this weekend after a couple years. 2 years later I finally had a friend who had a baby so I’ve been trying to reach out more knowing what it’s like postpartum and she doesn’t have as many friends with kids either so she was worried about that lonely feeling too. I’ve used this app to at least talk to other people

Thanks everybody! Yeah I know I still have them as friends it’s just I can’t go out each weekend like I used to nor do I want to do that 🤣 during the day it’s not like I’m upset I go out walks with baba go to shops just sometimes would be nice to talk to somebody going through the same as me lol! I have tried to do my driving so many times 🤣😭 my last instructor said try an automatic lol so maybe as baby gets older I will defo try again lol! I get out using public transport I’m close to town so I don’t struggle to get out but the baby classes that are around me are like too far so I am getting out but again it’s just me and Mia I’m not around others. I tried a breastfeeding class near me and I was the only one there 🤣 xx

Feel free to message me!! I’m a mum to be! But already get you🫶🏼

This is really really normal. You hear about it all the time but until you have your own you don’t realise how hard it is to lose relationships with friends. The newborn novelty wears off for them and you have less time to meet up with them when they’re free because of baby’s routine. My best friend of 10 years has met my baby 3 times in 6.5 months. She said she’d be round all the time before I had her. I haven’t stopped her once. That being said. I have two life long friends of 27 years and they see us every 2 weeks. They ask me, they are very flexible with when I am available. So I’ve experienced how good it can be when people are actually bothered to see you. That being said, this is definitely the loneliest busiest job of our lives. Constantly going places/ appointments, constantly talking to a tiny human who smiles and laughs back. Yet I have 0 conversation for the most part of my days. It can feel so so lonely, but I had to accept I hardly have time for any other humans🤣

I know how you feel sadly, my little one is now 2 and I still feel lonely sometimes. It’s one thing don’t tell you, how lonely motherhood can be. Here to chat if you want too

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