Feeling like I missed out on the newborn stage

sorry. this is VERY long. I feel like my vulnerable, freshly postpartum self was incredibly disrespected and taken advantage of in the first month of my baby's life. I had an EMCS in May this year, during labour my body gave up on me, myself and my partner thought either me or our baby was going to die, or even both of us. It was so traumatic, I even think 6 months later I haven't fully processed how intense the whole experience was. Before our baby was born we were basically promised by my partner's family (who we live with) that they were going to make our first week at least as easy as possible by helping with laundry, washing bottles, and general maintenance of the home so that we could focus all our energy on our baby. I don't want it to seem like I dislike my in-laws because I do love them, and appreciate what they have done to help us out, but I feel like I do harbour a lot of resentment towards them for how I feel like I was treated after having my baby. In the hospital, obviously none of it went to plan, and after only 30 minutes of labour my heart rate went dangerously low, and they couldn't find my baby's for an extended amount of time so I was immediately whisked off to theatre. After it all, my partner and I agreed we'd ask all of our family to come back the next day, because I was so high on morphine and also felt so overwhelmed. Neither side listened, they all insisted on coming up, which isn't solely on his family it's on mine too. While I was a bit taken aback, it did end up being a nice experience for us. However, no one cared about me except my mum. No one asked how I was doing, literally 2 hours after being cut open. They all held my baby, and my mum was the last to come in, she was the only one who thought to help me put my baby into a onesie and change his nappy. I don't blame my partner as he was overwhelmed and we are first time parents. That was whatever, what makes me sad is the weeks after this. We got home two days later, and it felt like myself and my partner were invisible, we weren't allowed to sit upstairs with our baby without someone sitting in our room just staring, waiting to be handed the baby. There wasn't an hour we were allowed to just exist as a family. That night, my MIL came into the room when our baby was crying and took him to her room at 3am and I just sobbed my heart out. I shouldn't have let her take him, but I was so stressed about him crying (and still quite high from the morphine tbh) that I was so dumbfounded and just let her. I couldn't move and get him, because I literally couldn't sit up by myself and my partner was fast sleep after she took him due to being so tired. During the days, it was the same. Constantly being ogled, but not once did anyone ask how we were doing. We weren't even left to be with our Health Visitor without an audience, she literally had to shoo them away when she wanted to take the dressing off my scar. Not one bottle was washed by anyone but my partner, no one helped out unless it entailed getting cuddles off of our baby. I get that a newborn is such a novelty, but it felt like he was being ripped away from me and I was so hormonal I just felt so vulnerable and like I didn't have a voice. If my baby cried and I was still stuck in bed and he was with them, they'd never bring him back to me which just sent me down a spiral of anxiety. I was never diagnosed, but I 100% believe I was experiencing PPD and PPA, I convinced myself that my baby didn't know I was his mother. That I didn't deserve to be alive because I wasn't being a good mum. It was one of the worst times of my life, and I feel like it should have been one of the best, even if it was hard. I really wish I had more of a backbone and stood up for myself and my baby, but at the same time I wish the other people in my life could have recognised that this time wasn't for them to bond with my baby, it was the time for my partner and myself to be together as a family. I definitely also felt some resentment towards my partner during this period because I felt like he should have advocated for us, but we've spoken about it and he feels incredibly guilty after finding out how much everything devastated me. We're all good now, but he was also feeling very similar to how I was feeling just obviously without all the hormones. Nowadays it isn't much better, but i've learnt how to stand up for myself and my baby because I feel a lot more mentally stable. We will move out soon, but not soon enough. I feel like when we move out I'll be able to feel better in my relationship with them, because now all I can do everyday is think about how they made me feel freshly PP.