Feeling lonely
Show your support
You can always hang out with your friends and your hubby can watch over your baby as well! If he’s willing to do that then great!! But whenever I do that I know I ask for pictures of my baby constantly 😭❤️ but I’m pretty sure it gets better soon bc I’m 24 and I still want to go out to the clubs and bars and have fun but now I have a 3 month old son to take care of and sometimes I bring him to my party friends house and drink a bit and they help me watch over him and play with him and also sometimes I just drink and have fun with my husband at home with some music on !! Even our baby sleeps through the music 😭😂🫶🏼 but there’s many ways to have a little fun!! ❤️😊 it’s definitely a huge change for me too cuz mourn my old life a lot bc I used to travel and go to parties but I’m trying to be positive about my new life as well and have fun 😊❤️🤞🏼
It’s not forever. We have seasons. Seasons where we can go out w gfs and go dinners and drinks and seasons where we can’t as much. You’re in the newborn season atm so just embrace that as much you can but sneak in a break every now and then for yourself. I find when the youngest wakes 1-2 times on schedule that’s when I can start going out again, seeing gfs again and enjoying night life. Remember the date nights as well, that’s a chance to get all cute and reconnect w the partner if you have someone to look after kiddos for 2-3hrs. When newborn becomes infant and only wakes 1-2 a night it gets much easier. I am a Mum but also a Mum that has friends and hobbies that I do at home and hobbies that I do out, but I could only really do it when my boy hit about 7-8m. So hang in there and remember newborn phase isn’t forever, and please do take time for yourself- don’t feel guilty and ask the OH to look after littlies for the sake of your mental health. My baby was EBF but also took bottle
I had my first at 20 and second at 22. I can’t say I felt like I lost my 20s, but I can explain why. I found ways to keep my identity but be a mom if that makes sense. It wasn’t easy, but I continued school, still started my career in law. I’ve always had a lot of hobbies so I found ways to center my kids in them and make them bonding experiences. I love art so I learned to make custom cakes, would draw while they colored, crocheted blankets for them. My sons ran 5ks with me and my oldest has run with me to train for marathons. Girls night became a monthly kid friendly potluck and we would pick a different food genre and rotate homes me and my friends. I just had to shift, a lot of it is attitude. By 30 my kids were old enough to get a little more breathing room and I started traveling, applying to law school, and other things, and I’m actually glad it worked that way because I have zero guilt and I know I was there for their most formative years.
I had my baby at 29 after traveling 60 countries in 4 years, studying for 7 years to get master's degrees and did everything I wanted in my 20s and guess what? I still miss it. Every. Single. Day. I love that I did all that don't get me wrong but sometimes I wonder if I hadn't stopped... If I'd still be traveling the world, would I be happier? But then I remember that I wouldn't have my baby and I wanted to have kids, they are going to bring me so much joy in the long run that is a very different joy from traveling and having fun on my own. I'll always have my babies and that's something to never forget.
It does mama! I had 2 back to back from 18 and 20. Plus I got married at 21. I felt the same for awhile until I forced myself to remember that just because I’m mommy doesn’t mean that’s the only aspect of me. My life didn’t end just changed. I had to plan and budget more than I did before to still keep some part of me! Who says you can’t have fun, go out, have me time, or do things for yourself just because you are a mama now?! If they did they a damn LIE! You may not be able to do everyone else is doing as frequently and without planning but you still can. It’s okay to think about them but you can’t be the best mama if you aren’t taking care of yourself. My boys are 9 and 11 now. It’s def easier when they aren’t so young (babysitter wise especially) but give yourself some grace 🫶🏼 Mama matters too!