AITA - Wedding Edition

Sounds like she didn’t want you there? Sorry that you’ll have to miss out but you’ll be in a whole new season of life that hopefully u won’t care as much

Might be controversial but I don't think she's done anything wrong. Sure, it sucks but as you've said she doesn't have to plan around the fact that you're pregnant. If they get married before your due date, that doesn't give them long to plan and pay for everything. If you give birth around your due date, your baby would be around 2 months in August and I wouldn't want a 2m old baby at my wedding, plus assuming it's your first child, you have no idea if you'll even feel up for flying at that point.

She didn't want you there badly enough to wait, that's crap and I definitely would feel upset in your shoes! To pick your due date of all dates though is something else!

Yeh knowing your due date it’s very odd she would pick that date knowing you wouldn’t be able to attend after asking you both to be quite important roles 🤨

Maybe she had to plan around family members step moms step dads etc which is what I had to do with my wedding. Hard enough planning around family alone and then friends as well. Don’t take it personal x

Was your pregnancy the only thing she was planning around? Honestly though, she made her decision and it's not really about you. She could just be excited to get married finally.

Ultimately it’s about her and her wedding. You would have been the maid of honour, but she’s the braid. If it was my case, I would understand. That’s the date she planned, she can’t change the date just because I want to, basically. It wouldn’t bother me.

Very confusing she would ask you both to be big parts of the bridal party but not accommodate your availability (considering it’s not something you can change 😂). I’d certainly be asking her that otherwise it seems like abit of a scape goat to be honest..

To me it seems very intentional to ensure you couldn't come which is odd considering she wanted you and your husband to be important parts of the wedding..

Idk I might be crazy but baby idgaf about your baby when it comes to the most important day of my life lol like I love u but idgaf bout u more than me that day lol! Sorry not sorry tf I gotta wait for cause if it was on the other foot I doubt you are holding off your special day so I feel like you sound hella ridiculous lol!

At the end you don't know how many factors they needed to take into consideration and venue availability is a thing. Weird you guys were not one of those factors. Most of the time wedding planning takes at least a year and maybe there were reasons to pick an earlier date. She could be pregnant, wants to get pregnant ASAP, her favourite venue had availability on your due date but not later, even if the second best (venue) is available maybe she really wanted her first choice. I am just trying to give examples but indeed it is understandable to feel a bit hurt.

It seems intentional to me that she’d ask you both to do very important roles, but then legit plan it on ur due date, and then not want to wait. It’s her wedding so it’s totally up to her but it seems like she did it on purpose imo. I’m wondering if there would have been hard feelings with anyone had she of chosen a different moh or officiant. Is there a sister in law or aunt or anyone that would have gotten offended if you were moh? Or would you have gotten offended if she chose someone else? Just out of pure curiosity. 🩷

I agree with the others that this seems done on purpose. How did she seem to take the news of you being pregnant? Do you think maybe she has some jealousy or resentment about it? When my best friend got pregnant before me I was so jealous and thought it would be the end of our friendship because I thought she was going to forget about me with the new baby coming. I isolated myself at the time.

Asking your husband to officiate and you be the MOH and then pick your dude date?…yeah that’s weird. It’d be different if she didn’t ask you guys to be those roles and happened to land on that date but idk seems intentional to me

@Aryyy I actually did wait till after my best friend had her baby 🫣 maybe it’s just me but I wanted her to be there. Was nearly a year after we planned originally so she could enjoy it too.

So as someone that had a "best friend" that also asked me to be MOH and then ghosted me and kicked me out last minute after I did all the planning for her, my best advice is that people show their true colors when they are 1 of 3 things: grieving, stressed, or planning for the future. As much as it hurts, I've found it's a very typical stage of adulthood for people to end up not caring as much as they once did or as much as you care about them. Sometimes, it's a priority shift..... and sometimes it's a reality check. She knew what day you were due. She could have pushed it a month or two out to include you. She could have pushed it a month or two back to include you. Ultimately, it sounds like you getting pregnant ruined her idea of a "perfect wedding" and she picked your due date on purpose. It sounds like for some reason she doesn't want you there, and IMO, that automatically excludes her from being "best friend" or even "good friend" material. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Siobhan i personally wouldn’t do my bestfriend like that either 😂😂😂😂😂😂 but im saying the other girl might not wanted to wait lmfao

My sister had her destination wedding a week after my due date and I couldn’t go. And she knew my due date before she had picked her date. At the end of the day she wanted to get married sooner than later so she could have kids and she wasn’t going to wait on my schedule and I think that’s fair. Cause she’s doing what’s best for her family and like others said even if she picked a month or 2 later I wouldn’t have taken my 1 or 2 month old baby especially cause you’re still recovering and you don’t know if there’s any other complications. It does suck but I wasn’t mad at all.