Do you have sex with your man even if you don’t want it

Sad to see you ladies who are potentially being coerced into having sex when you don’t want to have sex 😔 I hope you’re safe emotionally and physically

That’s gross, what is wrong with some men

@Cass I know. He was raped as a child too so surprises me that he doesn’t see the issue

No because there has never been a time in my life I haven't wanted to have sex with my husband. Not once. He on the other hand doesn't want it all the time. Sometimes I get upset but forcing him to do it when I know he doesn't want to would make me feel gross no way would I be able to do it then

I did vote yes but not like you've described. If I were to say no my husband would stop. But he has a higher drive than I do, so sometimes if he iniate and I don't actually feel like it also couldn't be bothered I'll go on with it because I love him and want to make him happy. It's 100% still consensual for us. If he is bugging me and I say no he gets the hint and will back off.

Nah. My husband knows what sentence "No." means.

Never if I actively don't want it. But sometimes I still will even if I'm not 100% in the mood because I know I'll get into it. But to me that's still consensual and my husband would never pressure me

At the end of the day i dont see the issue if he wants it whatever lets do it. But i ALSO know i think this way because he's rewired my brain into wanting to make him happy. I do say no and he stops 96% of the time but sometimes i just give in because i cant be bothered to argue and i end up sometimes enjoying myself

This is gross. How long have you been with this guy? How can he feel good having sex with you when he knows that you don't want it?

Very rarely have I not wanted to do it or wanted to stop in the middle and my husband accepts that if it’s the case. This is unacceptable behaviour you’re describing

I voted yes but after seeing you comment- I wasn’t thinking of what you described. If my husband initiates sex and I don’t really feel like it, I’ll usually still do it and just make it fast lol. But if I really DONT WANT to have sex, I say no but that’s only been twice and he was fine with it

Sometimes I’m not in the mood. But he always wants to give me oral when he can and that gets me in the mood, so from there I am in the mood and we always finish it and I always get to orgasm even though initially I wasn’t in the mood, if I’m ever way too tired I’ll tell him and he backs off but mostly I’m not too tired to lie there to receive lol.

Oh god, maybe it’s some sort of twisted mentality he has now that you don’t have to consent to sex because he didn’t?🤔

I look at it like my husband does ALOT of things I hate or don’t like lmao giving him a couple minutes of something that gives him the same feeling he gives me everyday all day isn’t hard work lol. A lil splash at the water park won’t kill me when he legit does EVERYTHING For me I genuinely don’t mind

No I would start to resent him and then want it even less. I respect him so much for not being pushy

It’s ok to choose to have sex as a favor to someone even when you’re not feeling that gung-ho about it. But it is NOT ok to pressure someone into having sex. It is wrong. You need to hold a really firm boundary here. I know that’s hard. Don’t give him an inch. He is wrong and his behavior is very hurtful. Totally unacceptable.

Can it be both depending? If I feel like he needs some love, sometimes I even offer it without 100% being in the mood. My husbands love language is physical touch, and it’s important for me to remember that he literally feels emotionally disconnected if it’s been a while or if it’s few and far between for a while. However I don’t always…it’s a case by case basis

“Non consensual” it’s rape. Call it what it is.

@abbie girl this is not okay 😬

@Rosalie that’s kinda messed up to only feel connected emotionally through sex. Love languages are used quite a lot to pressure people into sex

I do because it's usually me who wants to all the time and him not so much anymore

My husband has a lower sex drive than me so if I'm trying to initiate and he says no I'm tired or just not in the mood I back off and just stick to cuddling. Idk how your man could do that to someone he says he loves. I could never manipulate my husband like that

I’ve had sex without wanting to, but that’s just because I have a really low sex drive, but I still love and want to please him. If I don’t want to though and say no he won’t because he only wants to when I say I want to. It’s a respect thing.

No , plus if he sees I’m not in the mood it’s not even a question… he’s like speak up lmao

I voted yes but not like what you described.

@abbie I could of wrote this myself! I always end up enjoying it even though I didn't want it 😅

@Molly Never said it was the only way he feels connected. Couples need plenty of ways to feel connected. And yes, people need sex to grow in intimacy too. That’s not messed up, it’s natural

I’ve been with my husband for 17 years (since high school). He wants to have sex more often than me so sometimes I’ll do it even if I technically would rather sleep. 😅 But it’s not like I said “no” to him and he did it anyway.

My ex-husband did just what you described, coercion through manipulation, and it took me years of therapy to recover and sometimes still have nightmares about it. Please be safe and take care of yourself!

We both used to give in to each other’s needs but now we don’t do that anymore. Life’s too short to be having sex when you don’t want to.

You should be able to say no and he needs to respect you for it. There is a don’t to maybe you’re just tired but you’re not completely against having sex so you still have sex but just let him know to make it quick because you want to sleep, and saying no because you are not in the mood for it and you want to do something else.

Eugh, can't believe 37% of you said yes!

@Rebecca sad really

No and I'm in the same situation except it's been 13 yrs and I hold a lot of resentment.