Partner woes

My husband is driving me insane with how lazily he parents. As soon as he comes in from work, I start dinner, put on laundry, tidy up - whatever I haven't had a chance to get done that day in the house. This doesn't include showering or doing anything for myself. I leave the baby with him and most of the time he'll just leave her to it while he stares at his phone - I'm happy for her to play independently but she eventually gets bored and starts whinging and it's like he just doesn't hear it and continues staring at his phone. I get so irate like please can you just interact with her!!!!! It's either this or he'll put the TV on, which again infuriates me. I'm fine with a bit of screen time but not for hours on end. Or he'll follow me around the house, sitting in the kitchen watching me cook. Cooking dinner is literally the only time I get to myself all day but instead I have to listen to my baby moaning and crying because he is just scrolling through his goddamn phone instead of trying to play with her or figure out what she needs. He's never off his own back done anything for her without me asking (like giving her a bath, or getting her ready for bed) except change a poopy nappy and even then he'll come and announce it to me that's she pooped like...ok? You know what to do... He's such a great man, he loves us both so much and he will do anything I ask. But I have to ask. Otherwise he will do nothing. He's so lazy it's unreal. I feel bad because ALL I do is nag him but for once, I would like him to do something, ANYTHING, off his own back. Take some of the mental load from me. He won't even think to put a load of laundry on despite the basket overflowing onto the floor, he'll just say "we should probably put a wash on", yeah well HOW ABOUT YOU GO DO THAT. Sorry for the rant, I don't even know what I'm wanting here. I've asked and explained so many times what I need from him. Even if I stopped doing all the things I do, it wouldn't bother him, he seems happy to live in mess and filth.
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Cor are we with the same bloke? 😂 my partner is EXACTLY this and it is infuriating! You deserve a rant girl, get it out of your system but know you’re not alone 🤍

Can fully relate to this as well. My partner is always on his phone when he's looking after her and she's starting to get really aware of it I think. Whenever I leave the room or hand her over she starts to cry and wants me back which is starting to bother him but when I explain it's because he doesn't engage with her, I'm the one in the wrong.

Tbh if I were you I’d look for a day to go out somewhere alone. If you’re not there his instincts will kick in and he’ll have to get things done (the house may be a mess - but baby will be sorted). This shouldn’t be on you alone - it sounds like you’ve just become the default parent and he is relying on you to carry the mental load.

Wow! Could of wrote this myself! X

Must be a man thing bevause it literally looks like i wrote this post. Dont even get me started on night feeding! X

@Lauren oh don’t, LO was formula fed so we could share the load… well that didn’t happen. Thank god right now he doesn’t usually have a night feed because I was about to commit murder x

Tbf men are very much straight to the point people. I kinda had this but then a build up of hormones made me absolutely snap one day because I was sick of washing bottles alllll the time 😂 and I just laid it all out on the table - now he is honestly so helpful even with him working long hours to support us (I do work too but he's the main earner and I do appreciate it). But maybe just a big conversation and stop doing his washing only will make him see Good luck mama xo

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