Angry about how my birth went

Hey guys, I had my little one back in June, he was 10 days overdue and all I can think about is how angry and upset I am with how it went. My partner panics over the slightest things he’d read and we’d been to antenatal classes so we knew kind of when we’d need to go hospital, I started getting pains and instantly he panicked got excited etc, anyways we live 1hr away from hospital and I’m the only driver so his mum was to take us when it was time but he messaged her straight away when I had my first pains to say ‘it’s starting’ and she panicked and was telling him I need to go to hospital as they were consistent for around an hour, I knew I wasn’t ready but she was saying she was coming over and we needed to go so my partner was panicking more, I had snapped and said no I don’t want her here, he was convinced it was time! This annoyed me so much as I wanted to stay home as long as I could but it was draining arguing when they’re both saying we’re so far away you’re definitely in labour, and my partner saying how his mums taking us and waiting up so we ‘can’t leave it too late’🙄 I knew I wasn’t ready and I’m annoyed I didn’t back myself more but it annoyed me that my partner wasn’t even listening just letting everything get in the way and he really believed I’d be pushing our baby out in an hour🫠 After an hour of back and forth about it I just gave in we went to hospital and low and behold I was only 1cm but baby was back to back so midwife said that may cause a lot of pain. They wanted to keep me in as I was due there for induction 4 hours later so I just said yes fine, they offered me to go home later on next day as I only got to 2 centimeters in like 16 hrs but we had also been offered to break my waters I was exhausted and just agreed to do it as his mum would’ve had to drive another hour to get us and I really couldn’t be arsed. After this everything went tits up it took 6 nurses to break my waters even though the third nurse had said they were broken by the First Lady and checked and stated yes they’ve broken so looking back now I have no clue why so many still tried, straight away from that baby started getting stressed, he pooped inside me also I know I am a little forgetful of parts but one thing I said was I’m adamant I definitely don’t want the hormone drip at all but I ended up having it? Don’t ever recall having a conversation and agreeing to having it, this also made babe stress more and I ended in emergency c-section which I had a shite recovery for we were in hospital for days because the nurses ‘couldn’t get my blood results back because lines were down and they couldn’t get hold of the labs’ which also pissed me off beyond belief and then my partners stepfather drove us home and went over every bump and sped knowing I had just had a surgery with a newborn in the car he never drives like he did and it just boiled my blood I felt like I’d rip open! even when we kept telling him to avoid the bumps and slow down as it was hurting me it was like he purposely was going over the pot holes in roads, driving fast over speed bumps etc i was trying so hard not to cry the whole way home I was shaking of anger because he doesn’t ever drive the way he did. and all I do is think about my whole experience annoyed at myself my boyfriend his family etc which makes me feel so guilty, I also always wish I could go back and change everything and hate that I can’t🥲 sorry for the long post ahah just really in my feels overthinking whilst babe won’t let me put him down🙃