Am I a bad parent?
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No I think it’s fair enough, also you may be paying for nursery but if you want to pick him up early one day for example if you’re not working to spend time with him then there’s nothing stopping you! You can pay for the time so if you do need it you can use it, doesn’t mean you HAVE to use it every week!
No, that's a totally reasonable decision. If you wanted to you could also go and pick him up early or drop him off later if you're not working. As parents we have so much more to do than there is time to do it in. So having some downtime or time to do house stuff may even make you a better parent in the time you have with your child because you'll be purely focused on them and not distracted by what to do for dinner or the endless laundry.
Nope. Not exactly the same, but similar- I work part time in a school, but my son’s nursery doesn’t do term time only spaces, so I have to pay for him to attend year round. Even when I have school holidays and I’m not working, I send him. It’s great for him to maintain routine (he likes going too, which helps) it’s great for me to have the time to do other things, have some me time etc, but I still have the flexibility to pick him up earlier or not take him and do something together, etc.
@Cass @Caroline yeah this was what I was thinking, my daytime shifts don’t start till 11 so I can take him in a little later anyway 😊. I find it impossible to do anything around the house when he’s here so I’m hoping it will be beneficial for everyone 😫
@Chloe thank you thats made me feel better about it 🩷
Personally I want as much time with my son as possible as Nursey costs so I would pick up less shifts and spend time with him . My boy does 4 Nursey days so always has a day with mummy then weekend with mum and dad xxx
Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks OP, if you can tell it’s going to give you a bit of a break and prevent burn out, it’s already worth it. And even if someone else loves to spend all their free time with their child/ren, it doesn’t mean you should have to, or feel bad about not wanting to. I’m on Mat leave at the moment with my second child and so many people asked me if I would take my first out of nursery because I’d be home for a year. Nope. I love that boy to death, and I love the time we spend together. But it would have been the wrong decision to take him out and have him at home for a year. Doesn’t mean I don’t care about him, that I’m a horrible mum. You do you 💖
Is he your first child? Please don’t do that to your self your free if your all blew out restless how can you be your breast self for him get your freee time your not a bad mom at all❤️❤️❤️🙌🏾 I feel your blessed to get free time it’s so many mommas that don’t have freee time❤️
@Need Help thanks so much 🩷 Yes he’s my first xx
I think either way you would have to pay for those nursery days even if you decided to keep him home. I think most nurseries need each week to be consistent. So no don’t feel bad. I’m pregnant and once the baby is here my toddler will still be going to nursery. You need to look after yourself too 😊
Not a bad parent at all! It's great that you're thinking of your own self to make sure you're not exhausting yourself for when you are looking after your son!
I had to put my son in daycare full time for the same reason. I worked on an as needed basis and needed to be available. What I did is I would pick him up early and spend time with him if I knew I was free the rest of the day and wanted to spend time with him.
I work three days a week but send my son for an extra 6 hours a week on one of my days off xxx
Don’t feel guilty! My mum said something that really resonated with me that you can’t pour from an empty cup and the more we take care of ourselves the better parents we can be. On the days you’re off rest up loads and do some things you can’t do when they’re home. Then you can always have him home early and do something really special. I think people forget once you’re parent you’re still an individual human being as well you’re allowed to rest! x
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Not at all! After my last mat leave I had 28 days that accrued and I used them to take 28 Fridays off. My son was in nursery full time so I could have those days to myself, and tbh it was mostly spent cleaning the house and running errands for everyone else. After this mat leave I’ll be doing the same and both of them will be in nursery full time
@Chloe same here, I have 2u2 and there’s no way I could cope with both of them on my own. More power to those who do, but for us it’s better for everyone for him to continue in nursery. Plus I then get the same first year experience with his little sister that I got with him
@Allie that’s exactly part of my reasoning too, it would be unfair if my youngest didn’t also get the baby classes, swimming lessons and all the 1:1 my first child had at this age. My eldest doesn’t do Mondays so we do something fun, just me and both the boys, and it’s so lovely… but you bet I’m glad when Tuesday comes around and his days at nursery start for the week! 😮💨
Not at all. You need that certainty that you have a nursery space!
Sounds entirely logical to me. Do what works best for you and it’s always especially hard with shifts x
I’m thinking of putting my son in extra hours so I can gym 🤷🏾♀️ gotta do what you gotta do
Forgot to add my shifts will range from mon-Sunday so I will be working 4-5 random days a week