Not getting family gifts

So we decided not to give gifts to family this year. Both of our families are very wealthy & could easily buy what we wish. It was actually my 10yr olds idea to give to who can't afford present. We went on a huge shopping haul & spent a few thousands on clothes, toys, shoes, & diapers as well as gift cards to restaurants & fast food places & mil stopped by UNEXPECTED ofc & was asking who was all this for. She was upset that we "wasted her sons money" on gifts for others. Meanwhile I make more than him but that's besides the point lol & this came out of our shared account that we both put money in every month. She said this is why he's running low on money. Again from OUR SHARED ACCOUNT. We're nowhere near running low on money we just don't feel the need to splurge whenever we want & be reckless & put our money to good use. Ugh I can't stand her. Now she's saying e shouldn't show up on Christmas since we won't have presents for anyone. That's fine because Christmas isn't supposed to be about presents anyway

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I can’t help with the issue but I just wanted to say you’ve raised a lovely caring 10yr old boy for him to give this idea ❤️ Christmas isn’t celebrated like it used to be, so good for you and your little family! Look after the family you’ve created 🥰

We are the same this year, we are being very minimal, had a rough few months, the last thing I want to be doing is fannying around buying presents for people just for the sake of it, we are donating to the children’s ward at the hospital instead, we have already annoyed both parents by saying we wish we spend Christmas Day on our own.

I want to spend Christmas for ourselves and do minimal. I know my family won’t mind but in-laws probably invite themselves over. It’s always about obligation presents with them. They get annoyed when they ask us what do you want for Christmas and we say we don’t care/don’t know (cause we have what we need/want already) and we end up doubling up on stuff cause they buy it for us anyway.

She’s given you the best gift ever to not have to spend Christmas with her toxic self. And you should be very proud to have raised an amazing child that is wanting to help those in need! Have a blessed Christmas!

Definitely take her up on her offer of not showing up at Christmas at theirs! 😄 I am curious though, “She said this is why he’s running low on money” Has your husband been telling his mum he’s broke all the time? That you’ve been spending recklessly? Why would she say that if he’s never mentioned it?

@Neena she said that bc he told her we're budgeting & cutting back. Do we need to no but we felt like we've been selfish & reckless with our money & wanted to put it towards better use. & Also teach our kids financial stability. Teach them how to stay humble & give back. So they don't grow up rich & entitled like mil. He even told her i make more money & he's the big spender but she can't get it through her thick head that I'm with him bc I love him. She swears even after 15years I'm using him😅 she just doesn't like me

@Becky oh wow that's a beautiful idea!

You are raising a good man to this world ❤️ At this point I would just be rude and let her know that the way we spend money is none of her business if she wants to be whinny I can give her a binky. My MIL confronted me once about our large grocery hauls, asking me if we spend that weekly and that is just an insane amount. Im a SAHM and I cut the “help” my husband used to send her so she has been bitching since then. We both make the same amount per household but she is in a hole financially and we are very comfortable and I don’t have to budget for groceries just to have room to send money to her. Whenever she was talking to me about it I just looked at her straight in the eyes and told her that I don’t ask for her debit card whenever I go do my groceries. Husband thought I was a bit rude but I quickly reminded him that I was actually being very polite 🙂

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