Husband bought a male sex toy. I have a vibrator why do I feel weird about it? Would you feel weird about it?

I think it’s completely fine, like you said, exactly the same as you having your toys! I wouldn’t think too much into it, if you are not having sex as much as you used to he is going to have needs and want to relieve himself somehow. If he wasn’t wanting sex with you, but using a toy a lot then i’d be thinking something was up, same way as if you didn’t want sex but were masterbating all the time, but I really don’t think there is anything to worry about. Maybe try and get involved! partners use toys on each other all the time, if you don’t have a high libido atm but want to help him out you can still do that without sex. That might help settle your feelings around it a bit, as even though it is a toy, it is still you getting him off. I completely understand where your head is at, but I think you just need to try and not worry about it. it isn’t anything against you at all! ❤️

What kind of toy is it?

I would let it go. Men have a stronger sexual urge than women and id rather my man buy toys than find another vagina. Make him use it in front of you. Might be fun and might turn you on🤷🏼‍♀️

I would feel weird about it.. and I have a vibrator... it's probably just relationship security fears. I know sex is not just sex to men.. it's bonding to him. They can not know that.. but it's she's the happiest she can be with me physically.. things are good. I would be honest.. I was cool.. till I wasn't.. I don't think he would be mad.. if u said u want to be involved if ur not doing the main act still to keep closeness.. I know when I'm not feeling sex.. I'm still feeling him.. he will jerk it while I rub on him.. we will both touch ourselves together.. I just can't get into sex brain right now.. but I want to keep the close.

The thing is.. if we just wanted to touch ourselves.. because I'm just trying to get it done quick, and I'm not in sex brain.. but I do have an itch. They would not rub us and feel cool. They going to beg and feel some type of way. Lols

What kind of toy is it?

I use to feel this way about a lot of sex stuff but I have learned that it’s normal. I mean it’s better than him being mean and saying things like “you never have sex with me”. He just got something to use while you’re going through the feels! 1. I would still tell him you don’t feel sexy or whatever you’re feeling. 2. Try to be ok with it, you both are so busy and it’s ok for him to use it.

My Hubby has one too, he doesn't use it much tho 😁 but I don't mind 🙂

It’s like a pocket pussy I think. Looks like a silicone butt and vagina

Okay because a pocket pussy is way different than a cock ring or a cock vibrator. I would feel some type of way about a pocket pussy tbh

It can definitely feel weird for you since you are not used to it but you can used it together if it helps

@Violeta💕 yeah but what's the difference between a guy using a pocket pussy and a girl using a dildo? They basically perform the same function. Sure talk things out and all but it does seem kind of hypocritical to be okay with one and not the other. Especially cuz cock rings are more for pleasuring the girl than the guy, and afaik vibrators don't do much for guys or at least nowhere near what they do for girls. So it's kinda shitty to restrict him to toys that don't really pleasure him. Idk

I wouldn’t let him use a pocket pssy other toys I wouldn’t mind tho

@Carmen would you be with a guy who "wouldn't let you" use a dildo?

I actually bought my husband one when I was pregnant with my first. We talked about it and what started as more of a joke, he actually used it quite a bit when we had to obtain. He’ll still use it on occasion but it doesn’t bother me. Men masturbate so I don’t think them using a toy is any different. His buddies who knew about it called me “the rad wife” lol

i’d only have a problem if it was negatively impacting our sex life or if he was choosing to use a toy over me

If you don’t want him to have a toy then get rid of yours too.

@Izzie I second this!

Weird lol

You say you have a low libido so I’m thinking he wants it more than the amount that’s currently happening and instead of looking at sites, at girls, he’s found a solution not to have to pressure you but also not the cheating route, I think it’s smart of him to do that I mean the amount of men that SHOULD be doing that, (buying a pocket pussy) instead of doing what they do 🥴 and causing tension and trust issues by going the other route. This way he’s taken care of, not putting pressure on you, which is respectful, having his needs met but also respecting you and not looking elsewhere/starting something w someone. It’s admirable in a man.

That’s completely fine! Why are you allowed a toy and he isn’t? It totally shows how comfortable you guys can be together and if you’re not in a mood and he is (which for men is much more often) he can get his release without you fearing he’s going to the next door neighbour! I have absolutely no issues with my partner having his sexy time and I have mine! We still have an active sex life together so I’m down for it

I think it’s good. We have toys why can’t he

I would feel relieved. I had no libido at 4 months postpartum. I wish I had thought to get my husband a toy for the times I wasn’t in the mood, which was almost always in that first year.

A silicone butt and vagina would give me the ick so bad

It wouldn't bother me. My libido is dead if he needs to cum I'd rather he used a sex toy at home then cheat with someone

You are 100% being a hypocrite. Talk to him about how you are feeling and let him explain his feelings too. Figure out a way to be ok with him having a toy, or throw yours out too.

did i miss something? so many comments saying OP should get rid of her toy if she feels uncomfortable with her man having one but she never said she has a toy herself..?

@Izzie yeah her second sentence hun. “I have a vibrator why do I feel weird about it”.

@Kellie apparently i can’t read 😅

@Izzie happens to all of us 😂 you're good

@Izzie no it’s okay 😂 happens babe

@Carolyn idk I know it seems like a double standard but it's a pussy mold. In my mind it's comparable to a blow up doll. Idk Im not for restricting but it's an odd choice.

@Violeta💕 again, it's pretty much the only toy for men (other than a blow up doll, which I wouldn't argue is the same at all), that actually enhances male pleasure. Other than like anal toys like anal beads/butt plugs or some shit that stimulates the prostate, but a lot of men aren't a fan of those for various reasons. So idk what you were expecting him to get cuz imo expecting him to get only a toy that pleasures the other partner is what I would call an "odd choice" >.>

How is a pussy mould any different to a penis mould that women use for their vibrator?

@Carolyn It's not pretty much the only toy for men they have options. I would argue that anal toys are unisex, I would further argue that some men like anal play but afraid to openly admit it due to it being stigmatized. As far as expectation "🤚🏼" the good old hand. Lmao

@Violeta💕 I didn't say anal toys weren't unisex, I said they're pretty much the only other option when it comes to a toy that provides male pleasure aside from fleshlight/pocket pussies. And given this guy is with a partner who's perfectly happy to have a toy herself but who doesn't like it that he got himself a pocket pussy, I wouldn't blame him at all if he would have liked anal beads or w.e but then was scared of being judged. And are you seriously saying that the man can be with a woman who has a sex toy, can ask for permission to buy himself one, be granted permission, and then you expect him to just use his hand? Are you being for real rn?

@Carolyn nooooooo Carolyn, I don't recall saying that 🤔 WAIT didn't catch this before...a cock ring is definitely for his pleasure, it makes the shaft harder & the ejaculation intense.

@Violeta💕 everything I've read about cock rings suggests that they're primarily used to make a guy stay hard for longer so he can last longer for the girl. I've never heard of a guy using it solo, and if the main "pleasure" it brings to a guy is it basically helps him edge, that's a specific way of masturbation that I still don't think is fair to suggest as a "better" alternative. He's a dad and he has a partner. What if he's not into the idea of long drawn out edging sessions as his way of pleasuring himself when his partner isn't in the mood. What if he just wants a basic toy that does the same thing for a guy that a dildo does for a girl. What is so wrong about that???

@Carolyn hmmm. I'm putting my thinking cap on right now. I guess when comparing options a pocket p**** is definitely better than cheating. Pocket pussies are definitely more stigmatized than a dildo because when I think pocket p**** I think weirdo. That's just me

@Violeta💕 I think it's stigmatized because of no other reason than sexism tbh. Women have a plethora of sex toys to choose from, shit men can't even compete with (I've sat in a group of friends where a guy validly explained his insecurity that so many women seem to enjoy sex toys that vibrate, rotate and spin around and do all kinds of crazy shit a guy has no chance of being able to emulate with his cock, and he just has to accept it), and it's considered empowering and sexually liberating for a woman to be free to pleasure herself with them, but God forbid a man buy a fake hole to stick a dick in, he's a loser, a weirdo, a creep, whatever. Just toxic sexist crap tbh.

@Carolyn we have a plethora of sex toys because they can never find the g-spot lol

@Violeta💕 how is that better?? Women: Yeah you guys literally suck at pleasuring us so we have all these battery powered multi-setting toys that you can't even hope to compete with, deal with it Men: okay, I'm going to get myself one (1) toy that's just like, a hole i can stick it in, cuz I respect that you're not in the mood as often as me and I'd like to be able to take care of myself without bothering you Women: 😱😱😱😱😱 Istg you made it *worse*