SAHM stigma!!
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Society still doesn’t value SAHMs. I’ve had people suggest things I could do (work related) while on maternity. People struggle to believe childcare IS work
@Liv wow. Heaven forbid you spend time raising the child you just created. People are weird. This world is weird and feels like money is the most important thing.
@Leoni thank you what a lovely comment and clearly lovely person. You’re absolutely right I should ignore it but when it’s family and close friends making these comments that hurts x
@Liv lol I’ve experienced this too. Literally ppl suggesting for me to work lol. They don’t understand the concept of SAHM lol. It’s usually funnier when these statements are made from mothers and non childless women. Like I can understand when men make these types of statements bt I will never understand when women do it lol
I bet it does and of course you can’t control what people will say and sometimes it’s not possible to put distance between them and you. However, realising that it’s a them issue, rather you doing something wrong can help in co-existing. Boundaries and communicating how you feel is probably something that you’ve tried before, but in some cases people will just say without thinking even though you made them aware they are being hurtful
In some cases, it's definitely jealousy lol. As a SAHM myself, I've definitely dealt with this. Little snarky side comments, or just straight meanness to my face. At this point in my life, it doesn't bother me (much lol). This is something both I and my husband discussed even before marriage. I love being there for all of my son's moments, and I love being a SAHM and wife. No one is gonna make me feel bad for that.
Don’t even feel bad mama or listen to anyone. most ppl have no idea what it’s like to do everything for the child that they created or to constantly be there physically or mentally for them everyday! Most ppl I know, only spend a minimum of 4 hours a day with their kids and that’s to get them up for school or daycare and then only a few hours after school, for dinner & bedtime. And they make up for the time they dont spend with their kid buying them material things. Ur giving ur child something they deserve & money can’t buy! & thats all ur time & ur energy. U and ur child(ren) will never forget
What @Liv said. Society has never valued SAHMs, like EVER. Ppl (esp men) think staying at home, taking care of a child, maintaining a household AND a relationship with a man is not labor? But then they get mad when you don’t want to have kids OR call you lazy for not wanting to work a 9-5 AND raise kids? Lol what a joke. Just goes to show how disconnected from parenting most men are. It’s definitely jealousy. Society only values labor if you get paid for it. I’ve done many difficult things in my life, and raising a child as a wfh mom with no family to help is by far the most difficult thing I’ve done. I think ppl forget that NOT having to work is what it means to truly be free. You’re in an extremely rare, but blessed position so ppl will make stupid comments about it. Don’t let it get to you ❤️
Woman are no longer allowed to be SAHM’s, this will never be seen as a job to some people. I wish to the heavens I didn’t have to go back to work in less than 4 weeks 😩 it’s killing me the thought of leaving my baby and it’s also killing me not getting my wages … so I’m going back to work to earn money to pay for a nursery to look after my baby because I can’t afford not to work … how the hell is that even justified 😔
As a sahm myself I had too much time on my hands so instead of sitting at home basically only doing crafts, reading, playing with kids I decided to also attend college. Most sahms are upset because “it defects the real purpose of being a sahm” however in my mind it is more of insurance to me. As a sahm we have to be supported by a spouse(NEVER be a sahm to a boyfriend) or self supporting IE wfh jobs. If something were to happen I know I can financially support myself and our kids. I never want to be that sahm who ends up homeless or working a job for minimum wage barely being able to afford a survivable income
@Lauren “woman are no longer allowed to be SAHMs”. Such an unfortunate truth, but the system we live in made it this way. It’s either have kids and participate in a never-ending hamster wheel or don’t have kids and still be stuck in the capitalist system 😒
@Samira the whole system is made to gaslight us. so sad! The fact that the people who take care of our children when we are at work are the ones considered doing a job because they get paid and the stay at home parent doesn’t get the paid or acknowledgment is insane. Major insanity like u said; we are just hamsters on wheel. Ppl are damned if they do, and we are damned if we don’t. Smh
I've always wanted to be a SAHM, but I realized after a while, it is a nice break to go to work (I WFH). Being a mom is HARD WORK. it's VERY REWARDING but exhausting. It is my dream to work part time only, it just isn't possible financially for me right now.... I doubt it will ever be possible 💔
@Jasmin yep! Wow, I never realized the correlation of babysitters/nannies/daycares being paid & acknowledged for childcare but not moms 🤯 THAT JUST PROVES BEING A SAHM IS A JOB!
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@Samira well I refuse. I can get by on a small amount of money and so can many others they just choose not to they choose to get sucked into the fancy cars, holidays, expensive clothes and big houses and of course all that comes at a price. The sad truth is most people would rather have that than spend time bringing up their children. X
@Natasha I totally understand where you’re coming from and well done for going to college. I know I can get a job easily when I need to as I have experience but I am going to start my own business when little one is at school and my partner can and will pick up the slack cos he’s a good man and decent father. I do though understand not everyone is lucky to find someone like that x
Having experience is great however that lack of work history or years of unemployment causes issues
From a working mum (went back to work when baby was 2.5 months old), don’t listen to anybody putting you down for doing an amazing thing. Personally, I wish I was able to stay home with baby, but our circumstances don’t allow for that. You are creating memories and bonding with your child, on top of taking care of your home. This is commendable and beautiful. We all have to show up in different ways for our babies, either staying home or working, but in no way should we be judged for it. Enjoy spending this time baking, making things, and ignore negative people. It could be jealousy or simply, people having opinions when it’s not their business. Personally, I get a lot of judgement for doing the opposite, and none of this people have reached out to help or even ask me why things are like that. I don’t have time for people who lack curiosity, empathy and understanding but are full of their opinions. Keep doing what makes you and your family happy❤️