Free time
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Yes! I'm a cosleeper too (bedsharing with two littles) and honestly I just get out of bed when they fall asleep. The room is baby proofed and crash pads around the bed just in case for the littlest one but they both know how to get off the bed. My toddler does solo play during the day as well so I do things then. Don't be afraid to leave them somewhat alone. As long as they're in a safe space and you can hear them and check on them periodically; I really think it's okay. We don't have to hover over them all day and independent play or sibling play is super good for them!
@Amanda Brown we're trying to implement no screens so watching something while I nurse isn't really an option. Not co-sleeping isn't an option either. I'd rather be miserable for now then have them want and need me and I'm not there simply because I want to watch something or game. That feels wrong.
My alone time is when the kids are napping and husband is at work. But usually our youngest ends up in our room at night so it's not long before our alone time for the night is interrupted. I cherish their naptime very strongly 😂
I cosleep and my alone time is in bed after the kids are asleep. That is when I get to watch (listen really) to something. Both of my kids like being out so if I need some me time they go into the wagon and I do some walking. Prioritizing those moments, even if not truly alone, is important to me in order to not go insane.
@Katelynn Yes I hear you. That's my free time as well. In bed after they're asleep in the dark. I've been reading on my phone. It just .... feels lonely. which is crazy because I have two humans pressed up against either side of me. But kind of mourning my pre-child life.
Alright well you asked if you’ll ever get alone time again, so I guess the answer is no. You can’t have any alone time if they’re constantly clinging to you 24/7. Kids need independence just as much as we do.
@Amanda Brown yes but my oldest isn't even 2 yet and my youngest is 8 weeks old and nurses all night. I will not force independence, I will promote it. In time when they're ready. I understand what I asked. But the question was more so directed at Mom's who cosleep and not implement methods such as sleep training or cry it out methods.
Well we don’t do that either, my 23m old has gone down on her own in her bed whole life which I am really grateful for, and my 3 yo has books read to her and then she’s tucked in, and my 11w old is put in her bassinet when she falls asleep for the night, who also wakes up once or twice to nurse. No crying it out here. Glad cosleeping works for you though:)
@Amanda Brown Then I am truly jealous of your children being wonderfully independent all on their own. That is a blessing and I'm not even religious 😅 We read tons of books to my daughter during the day and before bed. And she still requires snuggles. I've snuck out and she'll eventually climb out and follow me haha. It's maddening but it is what it is. My son will nurse till he sleeps, I get out to pee or fold clothes near me, he'll rouse after a few minutes and scream bloody murder will I'm back in bed with him. I suppose it's just innate with them. Oh well. Looking forward to them a wee bit older and more independent.
Those ages are so hard, my youngest was born just after my oldest turned 2 and alone time at that stage was literally nonexistent. I was nursing 24/7 and my toddler was going through a nap strike. Once everyone fell asleep was truly the only time I had too, I would watch my favorite show with headphones on to decompress and get to sleep. This stage is SO hard and it will pass, I promise. For now, try and find ways to get extra alone time. If you have a partner, ask them to watch the kids so you can take a shower or a bath and relax in there (i get that's hard with a nursing newborn). You just gotta try and find ways to take care of you even if it's just a shower or bath or watching a show at night once everyone's asleep. Once that baby starts moving on their own, it gets easier. It seems like a long time, but it flies by.
It’ll get better ♥️
You'll get there, but in the meantime I think it's worth trying to do some of those things with your kids present. Transfer your tea to a thermos cup so you can drink it hot. Find a movie you'd be ok watching with them, like a holiday special, or a longer movie when you're all sick. Put a TV in your bedroom and you can watch after the kids are asleep in headphones or at a low volume with the captions on. Let them hear your podcast, or put in an ear bud if it's not appropriate content. Do a face mask or whiten your teeth with them present (pretend you're a monster!). Bring your laptop to the kitchen counter so you can work on things while watching them. Let them watch you read a book as they play in the sand box. Don't create a problem of only being able to be yourself or feel like yourself without the kids around. Let them see you enjoy the little things you like to do at home. You might not be able to do everything right now, but with a little creativity or preparation there is also a lot that you can.
@Annika Thank you so much for your kind words. I do take small moments such as hot showers. They are most welcome. But I will look forward to easier days ♥️
@Bonny We're currently implementing no screen time. It's been over a week now. It could be the reasoning for my sudden fall into depression as there is no distraction from them wanting me even if it's just sounds. But it'll get better I'm sure. The face masks scare the crap out of my daughter hahahah. Learned the hard way. I will start reading books around them as I found out it's most healthy for them to watch. Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom ♥️
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I could’ve written this post myself. My time alone is when I shower and my pees are now 10 minutes, Jajajajaj
Have your partner watch the kids while you have some you time. Best thing I ever did it could anything watching a movie playing a game going on with ur girls, eating dinner ALL THAT
We have set days where I spend time for myself doing whatever I want to do and not have the kids all over me or even be in my care. Next upcoming one is tmrow🥰 typically I get my hair done or go to the spa or get a pedicure while I read . I also prioritize thier bedtimes because once they sleep I can TRY to have some me time
It will help a little when baby is 6 months and can eat some solids and eats less frequently. It’s hard for now though.
The only time I get free time is when I’m going to bed and this is why I have decided to not co sleep with any of my babies :,) NB is in a bassinet in our room. I need my space after being with them all day long. I sometimes during the day when my 2 yo naps, if my 3.5 yo actually leaves me alone I can get a little bit of alone time in my room while I pump or nurse the NB and maybe even watch an episode of my show while I do that.