It's a hard pill to swallow but there are A LOT of one woman's "dream" man is another woman's rapist

I realized every time I've seen an interview with a woman who found out her husband was a peeping Tom or a rapist or a serial killer of women, none of them have ever said they weren't surprised. All of them thought the world of these men. A few years ago I cut off a childhood friend because she told her about her kid's father being arrested for human trafficking (trafficking teens into prostitution against their will) She said that she was going to stay with him because he never trafficked her. I couldn't live with that friendship having that knowledge. Or someone who knows about a partner's previous DV case and says "well he must love me more than he loved her because he's never hit me".

I have a similar story. The husband of a friend of a friend was taken to jail for child pornography. He was in jail for 3 years. She “waited” and stayed married. I never saw her again and never attended any events she would attend.

@Andrea and I bet she says he's a wonderful husband.

@Zainab🗝️ yea, according to my best friend she always said he was “innocent” sooo 🙄 Just the thought of it repulses and infuriates me. So I cant ever be in her presence again.

@Andrea unfortunately this is not uncommon. There could be a million facts and proofs to say differently but he didn't hurt her and she feels she can benefit from him. Putting herself first.

@Zainab🗝️ it’s so sad. But theres no helping them, unfortunately.

It's really hard to get SA prosecuted. There is a man walking around out there now with a wife and at least one child, who sexually assaulted me. If she were to pull up his criminal record it would just say he pleaded guilty to assault. It was taking years and I didn't want to continue being abused by his lawyer, he already had other charges and was in prison, so I let him take a lesser charge. Maybe she thinks he's a wonderful man, maybe a wonderful father. To me he's the man that pulled down my skirt and shoved his face in my bum while I screamed for him to stop.

Im so sorry you’ve had to carry this experience with you. It’s incredibly painful to feel like justice hasn’t been fully served, especially when it means living with the knowledge that someone who harmed you may be seen in a different light by others. The emotional toll of the whole situation must be overwhelming. You did what you needed to do to protect yourself in that moment, and it’s unfair that the system and the world around you don’t always reflect the gravity of what happened. That man deserves to be held accountable for what he did, and it’s heartbreaking that he’s still walking free while you’ve had to carry the weight of it all. I hope in time, there is some form of justice. Your pain and experience matters.

Watch the Chris brown documentary on Netflix

@Asia I've heard about it. I know there was a woman on cat fish who thought she was dating him. I've heard women say "I would let him beat me up". I bet it's a good watch.

This is literally my worst nightmare. I tell my husband all the time he better NEVER make me look like a fool that way. In this day and age idk how it’s even possible to not know if your husband is doing anything suspicious though. Like I have his location and id know something was up if he was on his phone more

My husbands father has a similar story. He was a youth pastor and had so many affairs on my MIL. He ended up going to prison for having an affair with a 17 year old when he was late 20s. My MIL stayed with him through it all and waited for him to get out of prison. Then in 2020 he decided he didn’t want to be with her and moved out of state with his mistress. My husband still maintains a relationship with him but he knows that I will NEVER be left alone with the man and neither will our daughter

in high school a friend’s dad was arrested for distribution and ownership of child pornography. the family stayed together. i could not for the life of me understand how a mother would stay with a man like this. she even has a younger brother.

@Mia did she tell you about it

My sisters friend’s husband was recently fired from his job for sexual harassment and she’s still with him and regularly posting what an amazing dad/husband he is. Always shocks me when I see her posts and shocks me even more as they have two boys and that is no example for them!

Also the priest who worked at our high school and had 2 sons attend was always an absolute creep. Messaging us on Facebook, telling us how beautiful our smiles were and how he dreamt of them etc. even offering to buy us booze for parties and pick us up. Made all of us so uncomfortable. his youngest son was in my year. He left our school very quickly and quietly and so did his sons. We all assumed the worst as the guy was a creep and he went to work at a new school…. Was then arrested for sexually assaulting a 12 year old girl in a class room FULL of other students. His sons have literally disappeared off social media and I’ve never seen them around. I think about them all the time and hope they are okay but I doubt it. His wife supported him until he was arrested at this new school and didn’t believe the rumours at our school

no, we weren’t super close and she didn’t talk to anyone about it really. maybe one person. we aren’t friends like that anymore so who knows what happened but i’m pretty sure the creep moved out and they got divorced finally.

i also had a coworker that was SA by her own father and she continues to go to his house alone and drink and smoke with him. she told her mom and her mom like didn’t really believe her or something and wants her to have a relationship with her dad and she wants to have one too. she won’t go to the cops and she won’t discuss it further with her mother and she still sees her dad. she also hasn’t told her brother bc she’s afraid he will freak out at dad… parents are divorced so she doesnt live with him. i cannot for the life of me understand the situation. i dont judge her bc shes the victim obviously but her mom???? what kind of sick fuck allows a relationship to go on and why isn’t she involving the law

My ex SA and r***d me, was abusive and controlling, cheated on me with who knows how many women (some quite a bit younger) and the last I saw he was engaged to one of the women he cheated on me with and they have 2 kids together!

Pick me women are very dangerous they can be men’s biggest enablers.They will pick the lowest of low men just so they get picked, they hate women that bad that they can turn an eye when men commit heinous acts.Look at wade wilson he murdered 2 women and yet women are creating campaigns for his release and sending love letters to him.Just because they find him attractive he couldn’t have possibly done it or he is just misunderstood.

@Mia I will say that being sexually abused by a family member is a hard thing to navigate…it happened to me and I still love and have a relationship with that person. Yes, I realize how weird it is and that it doesn’t make sense. But you’re conditioned your whole life to love these people so even after being abused by them, it’s hard to stop loving them. My middle son’s father was sodomized by at least 2 different men in his family and he still had close relationships with them, so I know it’s not just me. It’s so hard to explain. I guess it’s one of those things that you can’t fathom unless you experience it 🤷🏼‍♀️ I know, I need help 😩 BUT…as for the mother?! If I found out ANYONE did that to my kids…that person would NEVER be near my child again and likely be dead…so that part I can’t get on board with. It’s different when you’re the victim.

@Emilie men who get in trouble for things like sexual harassment in the work place always have a story ready. Its pretty rare that there are any consequences like firing.

@Zainab🗝️ exactly! He told his wife (according to my sister and what she’s told her) that this girl is obsessed with him and out to ruin his life. But considering he was let go due to the harassment id say she had a pretty decent case and that he is just a creep.

I remember in my high school at the dances, all the kids would be right in the middle of the gym and the lights were very low. For this reason it was very hard for teachers to see what was happening. We didn't talk about it but it was known that the boys would go the very middle and pull girls in from the outside to assault. Now they are men who are well respected workers, husbands and fathers. They weren't one offs. They were not one bad apple or a small group. No one in their lives knows. We can say maybe they are better people now. But they have tricked the women in their lives to believe they are protectors and lovers of women when they only love themselves. I want to be more protective of other women so that I can teach my sons to love women, to actually love them and not just for what we can offer.

@Emilie at my old workplace, a friend reported sexual harassment, she wasn't beyond her probation period yet so they said it wasn't going well and let her go. Women don't report a lot of things because then they are just viewed as troublemakers.

@Chelsey this is very common. I'm sorry. Do you have kids with this man?

@Brooklyn Wade Wilson is a good example. The whole situation is sick. But you're right pick me women are dangerous but they are only dangerous to other women so no one cares. After I read the book called "women who hate men" I realized that a lot of women use the same talking points as incels, red pill men, pick up artists and all the pro men anti women movements that want women to be subservient baby machines. They are brain washed.

yes i can totally understand that its a completely confusing situation bc your parents are supposed to be your protectors. the only reason why it raised my eyebrows more is because it happened later in life. it wasn’t like a grooming situation, it happened like a handful of times as an adult which is why it wasn’t harder for me to understand why she didnt say anything. like you said no one will understand unless they’ve lived through it but i would like to try. i am so sorry you went through such an ordeal. no one deserves that. @Dani Marie

My rapist is now a married gynaecologist so… 🫠🥴

@Lara oh 😳 yeah that's, scary. There was a neurologist I believe who was sexually assaulting female patients since the 80s. So knowing someone who abused you is in a position of power over others is extremely unsettling. I'm sorry. Horrifying.

an old friend of mine whom i was super close to for 6 years would watch child pornography. we didn’t find out until that last year, when his baby mama found out and told us all. i had one questionable instance with him when i was sleeping on the couch at our friends house and he wouldn’t “leave me alone.” the guys ended up fighting about it and now knowing what we do it makes sense. he’s been with another woman now for 3 years since.

another guy i went to highschool with locked me in a bedroom at a party and covered my mouth as friends of mine were banging on the door to let me out. hes now married.

I watched a documentary called “our father” on netflix. Its about a Fertility Doctor Who Used His Own Sperm on Patients. He would literally go in the room next door, masturbate, and then inseminate the patient. Of course the women didn’t know or give consent for him to do this. And they usually had their husbands there with them while the procedure was done. In the documentary the doctor talks about how he did them a favor and he did nothing wrong. These men are disgusting and they blame everyone but themselves. So disturbing.

@Andrea I do remember watching the first part of that. It was too icky for me so I stopped.