am i in the wrong here?

soon to be ex, working on getting out before anyone says anything, is genuinely one of the worst men i have ever met. cusses me like a dog, screams in my face, threatens to put me out, calls me the most horrible things i’ve ever been called etc. for the past year i have had absolutely no sex drive at all, mostly because of how god awful he is to me, partly also because im depressed because of how he treats me and how trapped i feel. he expects me to want to be sexual with him every day, but only on his terms. he will come in from work while im juggling my 2 and 7 year old and all they need while also making dinner and expect me to drop everything im doing to go have sex. he barely does foreplay, it’s so boring and i’m so uninterested and also so emotionally distant because of all the things he’s said to me. if i say later, if i say no, if i say i don’t feel good, im not in the mood etc he gets furious with me. this “man” calls me a wh0re, c^nt, b!tch, tells me our daughter is his biggest mistake because im the mom, every horrible thing you can think of - he’s said it to me. spat in my face & threw my clothes outside in the yard as well. hard to feel any desire to be intimate with someone like that when i literally hate myself and feel like life isn’t worth living because of him. im genuinely terrified of him because of how bad his anger issues are so i usually just bite my tongue and give him what he wants, but for the last year i just can’t, it feels like im being assaulted by someone every time he touches me as fked up as it is to say. he refuses to look within even though i’ve told him i have no sexual interest in him because of how he treats me but he refuses to acknowledge that and just tells me im cheating on him. he says that if he’s not getting it, someone else is getting it from me. someone please tell me im not in the wrong for not wanting him to touch me, i just cringe every single time he tries.

Show your support

You're not wrong, and it's not at all fucked up to say you feel assaulted by him because if you were only having sex with him because you felt forced then he is assaulting you. In the UK (not sure where you are or what the laws are) that behaviour is considered rape. It doesn't matter if he's your husband, boyfriend or a complete stranger, if you're being forced to have sex against your will it's a crime. I'm so sorry you're going through this, please stop doubting yourself, I'm sure he's tried his best to make you feel worthless but nobody deserves to be treated the way he is treating you. When you're ready and if you need to you could contact the police and or a women's charity for help and support to get out of there. Remember that when an abuser feels like they have lost control, that's when you're in the most danger so do everything you can and take all the help you are offered when you leave to protect yourself and your babies. One day you'll look back on this and be so proud of yourself, good luck ❤️

As Holly says, from what you've said he is 100% assaulting you. Your feelings as so valid. I'm so sorry you're going through this 💜 you don't need to justify why you don't want to be intimate with him, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it, it's the result of him being a hideous excuse for a man. I hope you can get out of this situation quickly and safely 💜

Please report and leave this man. He is abusive on all levels and is absolutely assaulting you. I feel so awful for you and the children being in such a toxic environment. If you have family, notify them and leave with your kids. Hes a gross human being.

Why is your qsn about sex?? I think the problem is more serious than if you're hurting his feelings over not wanting him asexually because that's obvious you won't. So sorry you are experiencing this. I felt so sad reading this. Please start planning on how to leave this pos. Get tested because he's the cheater and bc because no more kids please.

Babe get up and leave that pos asap before he hurts you or your kids abuse never gets better it always gets worse and worse til they kill you

Girl it sounds like my BD. If u ever need to talk message me I went thru the same thing I just broke up with him yesterday. I’m so happy to start my new journey I have no money no job no friends/ family , no where to go and a 1yo baby but I couldn’t take it anymore. I started to fear for my life and that’s when I made the decision. U need to break up asap but make sure it is safe to do so.

I am so so sorry to hear you’re going through this. He truly sounds like an awful person. Your feelings are totally valid and if possible, I’d work on leaving him. I’m sure anyone you confide in will see just how important it is that you leave him and focus on being happy

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌