Your feelings are VALID! I would have a talk with your husband about setting boundaries. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable that a female is texting him. Especially if he doesn’t like her/she’s annoying. It has nothing to do with jealously but respect to you from the both of them. If I didn’t like someone I wouldn’t be talking to them in person or text. If your husband is sincere about thinking she’s annoying he needs to hear you out and set those boundaries and make it clear that her texting him is inappropriate and he needs to also draw that line at work towards her. If there’s a company event you can also introduce yourself to her so she knows your husband is married and expecting a baby on the way. You can too set that boundary so she is aware her communication with him makes you uncomfortable.
Contradicting statements. The inability to communicate and validate your feelings. No reassurance. Possible flirting/ it doesn’t scream siblings or friends it’s like middle crush stuff going on.. your feelings are valid. If he wears a ring, she knows. She might just see this as a competition so I’d say if he wanted it to stop it would have already. Seems like he’s gaslighting you…
It doesn’t sound like he’s cheating but it doesn’t sound like he has the needed boundaries with her. I would also feel a way about this situation.
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You are not being dramatic. There is something weird going on