I want to LEAVE

please i need someone to put things clear to my mind that i need to leave this man. we been married 2 years and it always been the CHAOS, he’s gaslighting since the beginning and he never stop, he always leave me always and i always ending up begging him to come back even i know he’s a manipulator and narcissist. he control me and changed me so much, everytime we going out it’s ending by a fight telling me i look at other men’s, i have literally 0 friends left and the only boy friend that i had he can’t stop talking about him. my best friend he’s hating her telling me she a h*e. he 100% that i brought someone at the house when he left one day, saying he saw him outside (he believe it so much that’s crazy) but THIS man!!!!! lied about been married before, when he start been with me he had his ex wife pregnant so he had the kid when we was together, he talked to so many girls and i always forgave everything, he’s always saying that im cheating. when i’m crying he’s on his phone telling me to stfu, i’m too sensitive, he don’t care just 1 week ago he said to leave the past behind and he’s gonna work on his reaction. 4 days ago i said to him why did you screenshotted this girl (i went through his phone) he went crazy and beat me up like he never did (yes he did before) that was the first that i woke up with my whole body hurting and mark on my face. he left the house 4 days ago, i can’t believe that today im begging him to fix it. I’m so alone i never talk to someone about the whole truth because im scared to be alone with my son i have no family or friends here im from abroad. Even now im just crying he blocked me turn off his phone just for ignore my calls i don’t know what’s wrong with me why am i still calling him why i still want to be with him please man