My BD doesn’t work - In Need of a Rant!
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This was me with my daughter dad at the time when we were together. I was working 2 jobs and attending school I felt like I missed a lot during her first year because I was busy working. I don't want to scare you, but that was one of the reasons why I left him, I told him I was tired of all the financial responsibilities on me only and the fact our daughter's godparents tried helping him with work and other family friends and it never worked out since he had the mentally of "I'll figue it out" I would try to continue what your doing and updating his resume maybe try to tell him that this job position opened up maybe apply
Maybe give him an ultimatum.. work or leave the home. It’s not fair to have all the responsibilities put on you, it should be a 50/50 and if no one puts him in his place he will continue to go on the way he is, I think in this case you have to be cruel to he kind. I’ve been in this situation and was fully taken advantage of for years! My ex couldn’t hold a job for more than a couple of months and I had enough of doing everything myself. All they’re doing is showing you there is absolutely no need for him, you can do it on your own. I get it’s hard to confront people I’m the same but it will get to point where your relationship will break down if you don’t say something. Also try and tell yourself it’s not like your asking for money to go get your nails done your asking him to rightfully step up to his responsibilities. His parent 100% should be putting him in his place but if they’re not then it explains why he’s acting the way he is.. I hope he does the right thing for you both ❤️
@Kirstie @Olivia Thank you to the both of you! I fear you’ve both confirmed what I originally thought. I just didn’t want to face the reality of it. I’m so desperate to make this work because I also fear that if it doesn’t work, he’ll then have half and half custody of my boy and I know I won’t have a say in how he’s parented when I’m not there. His parents have always been too relaxed and have never encouraged him to work or do better for his family. This is totally normal and okay in their eyes… But I can’t keep providing full time whilst parenting full time💜
You’re welcome! You never know it might just be the kick up the backside he needed and he could get himself into gear and realise he’s about to loose everything if he doesn’t pull his finger out! But if worse does to come worse and you end up splitting, just try and focus on healthy co parenting. Have a conversation about how you need to parent the same way, to keep consistent so your child doesn’t get affected by any of it.. that’s if he does step up anything like my ex and he won’t care my daughter hasn’t seen her father in years. Hopefully he does though and you can get a well deserved break and have some time for yourself on days your child goes to stay with their father. But let’s hope he just gets him self together and looks for a job to provide for his family. Good luck and don’t ever settle for less than what you and your child deserve ❤️
I’m in a similar position, it’s really really hard I’m sorry you’re going through it too. I’d make it clear that if he doesn’t find work, the relationship isn’t going to work- don’t be afraid to be stern, literally send him to the job centre. You’ve not got much to lose and if he’s a good guy he should understand you need support and this is his chance to step up - worst case scenario if you split, I doubt it would end in half and half custody because any court would look at the situation and see what he contributes (very little). Feel free to msg me even if it’s just to rant ❤️
How old is your boyfriend? I am shocked his parents aren't on him to get a job!! This is like a fantasy world your mother in law is thinking when she says- your soo lucky you can both be at home with your child.. her son isn't working! I am sorry but your boyfriend sounds like a 'boy' not a grown man at all- not even a grown up in general. He needs to grow up! I am sorry this is all on you but its super pathetic on his part to watch his partner provide everything for the household all while your raising a baby and in school. I mean your creating HIS resume? .. sounds like you have 2 children... I am sorry to be so harsh. what does he do ALL day long?? If my husband didn't have a job you can bet both sides of the family would be on his case daily, his parents would be so disappointed in him for not taking responsibility as a grown adult and contributing.
Welp his parents AND you are enablers . He is a man he needs a job OR needs to do all the house choirs and watch the baby. His mom is gross, if I had a son I would literally never let my son have no job while is BM is pregnant. No real man would even want that.
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