When will I have time for myself
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Your life for sure changes, but that doesn’t mean you won’t get some time to yourself. For the first 3/4 months I was home majority of the time with my baby because I didn’t feel ready to leave him. BUT - that doesn’t mean you can’t! If you have a strong village/support system, lean into them (mom, boyfriend, etc) and prioritize time for yourself!
Exactly this ^^ I was going to mention village/support system but Savannah NAILED it. I am also home literally 24/7 with a 7 and 3yo. We started small with my partner or a sitter watching her. The longest I've been away from my 3yo is when I was working 8-10 hours a day and she had daycare/if my partner was home he'd watch her. That doesn't mean you can't however start whenever YOU'RE comfortable. If it's a problem with having no support system, you can always get some pretty well vetted babysitters through your friends or even just other people you know with kids. I found my best babysitter by trusting a friend that has 7kids now, the sitter keeps up with them so I had no doubts she could keep up with mine 😂
My son is about to be a year old and I haven't left him for more than 3 hrs at a time, and only with my mother. But I have a lot of anxiety around his care so I don't feel comfortable leaving him yet. Plus he still breastfeeds 4 times a day so I'm a bit anchored to him. But my friend who formula feeds went away for a weekend with her husband and left her son with his sister (when baby was 6 months), so it just depends on your situation and your comfort level. Prioritizing yourself is hard. But it is important!
My daughter is 6 months and I left her for the first time when she was 3 weeks. That was with her dad and it was for an hour to get my nails done. We left her for the first time overnight at 4 months and are planning to leave her for a week to go down south when she’ll be 8 months. I also joined a gym with childcare when she was 4 months where I drop her off most every day for about an hour. It’s always been important for me to keep my me time. It obviously has changed a lot because even when I’m not with her I’m still thinking about her and how she’s doing but I also think it’s an important part of attachment for baby to know that mom will leave and always come back. I’ve also done this while breastfeeding, I just either time my times away between feeds or pump and give bottles. I’m strongly in the boat of “it may be uncomfortable to leave her but it’s good for all of us” but that’s just my personal view on it.
It is hard to get rid of the mom guilt around going out without your kid but i started at around 3 months when i felt comfortable. With short trips around the neighbourhood to longer trips slowly. My kid will be 1.5yo and i will be doing a girls trip for two night without the kid for the first time. I have a partner i trust who supports me and understands fair rest.