Mom trying to help

Posting here because I know I don’t have anything to complain to her about but gotta vent. My mom lives several hours away. She visits about once a month to help with the kids which is AMAZING. But tends to overcommit. For example, like a week ago she said she would be here today early afternoon with a dinner casserole for us to cook. I put it on the calendar and didn’t make enough food last night to have leftovers tonight…. Basically completely planned around it. Of course now she’s saying she might be here in time to cook it, but maybe not. She might be here closer to bedtime for the little ones which will completely derail things because they’ll be too excited to go to sleep. So now I feel like I have to pull dinner out of a hat for our large family and just feel frazzled. I know that she’s trying to be helpful, but I wish she would set reasonable expectations for herself. I don’t care if she doesn’t bring dinner. I just don’t want to plan on it. This happens so frequently that I brought it up with her last visit so I felt like I could trust her this time but here we are :/ I know in the grand scheme of things this is stupid to complain about, but I have felt so overwhelmed and was counting on her

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Also, I guess if anyone has suggestions for a good last-minute dinner… I think I have pasta and red sauce, but no meat so that might be the winner

Next time just make something and you can always freeze it if she does show up with food. As you’ve said she clearly means well so just know her hearts in the right place even if her timing is a bit all over! I don’t think a one off later bedtime is that bad but if you prefer the kids to stick to the routine can you just take them up earlier and the kids can see her in the morning. That’d be a lovely surprise for them too!

I’m guilty of doing this but the other way round. My mum will be coming to visit and I say I will cook but then sometimes run out of time or something comes up. I would assume she isn’t going to deliver on her promise and cook as if she isn’t bringing anything. Then if she does come you have the ingredients you can cook another day? There is always cupboard staples - pasta and red sauce is always a plan. With frozen peas and sweetcorn. My other emergency meals are Tuna mayo pasta, chickpea curry or fish fingers.

My husband is so good making something from nothing. He will go around our kitchen finding random stuff and put it together for a quick meal. 9/10 times it turns out delicious. Cherish the times you have with your mom. My mom passed away last June. I miss her so much and wish I spent more time with her.

Thank you Bex and Sorrel, also probably the two coolest names on peanut. Yeah I’ll just have a contingency next time. It’s just annoying to always have to have one, like when she says she’ll be ready to go to the library with us at a certain time then isn’t, says she’ll have an activity for the kids in the afternoon then doesn’t, on and on. She’s the reason I under promise and over deliver in my own friendships etc. I’ve learned to say I’ll be somewhere a little bit later than I’m planning. I usually don’t mind a little bedtime wiggle room but naps went badly today so we’re in survival mode lol

@Jen Thank you for that Jen. I know these are small potatoes, but appreciate the reminder. We all have our quirks, this is just one of hers and she really is precious to all of us. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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