Am I in the wrong?
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I think if money is tight, it’s irresponsible for him to spend money on flowers when there are expenses to cover like making sure transportation is up and running. I think focusing on the gratitude so you can actually enjoy your time with him will be helpful. He could’ve came in and not acknowledged Valentine’s Day at all
Personally, my family has been in survival mode for longer than I’d like to admit. If my man came home and told me that he was able to put a whole tank of gas in the car, and then try to connect with me emotionally by telling me about his day, I would be over the moon with joy. I don’t think it’s wrong for you to want a gift or expect it. But I do think he is being responsible by prioritizing necessities. And he did say he had something planned for you tonight, which is also a plus in my book. If it’s something that bothers you, I would talk it through with him.
I can see why this is upsetting to you. Maybe 🫣 he wants to make sure everything is perfect so he can 100% focus on you when the time comes? Or it’s a ruse for a surprise?!! Have you tried expressing that it feels like you come last? Similarly, I’ve had to say to my husband before- let’s do more frequent moments even if it’s small so it doesn’t feel like ages between our quality time. Because sometimes it sees like men get comfortable and think “she’ll be there, let me do this last thing so it’s done and then…” When those small things add up and can weaken your connection. You’re not wrong, voice your concern, offer some alternatives- if he cares he’ll make an adjustment even if it can’t be monetary, he’ll get creative! Good luck and Happy Valentine’s Day! (Either way do something special for yourself 😉)