Advice needed! How to break my pregnancy news?

my advice is just be super honest, and i would say do it over text/message so she doesn’t have to try to hide her feeling from you. I did it this way to my friend who suffered a miscarriage and she said it was the best way I could’ve done it! And tell her before you tell any mutual friends x

And if you don’t reach 12 weeks? I personally hate the 12 week ‘rule’. Who’s it there for?! Having had a loss it’s far worse to tell people you’ve had a loss when they didn’t know you were pregnant to begin with. Anyhow it’s hard to give advice given all people grieve differently. More too given the number of losses she’s had. She’ll have seen the statistics that more than 3 losses mean it’s less likely (but definitely not impossible) to have a successful pregnancy and that’ll probably be making it harder. However I had a loss when my one of my closest friend was pregnant, very similar just 2 weeks apart. I was devastated for us, but certainly no less happy for her. Good friends want the best for you. It still affected the friendship, it could have been the time (Covid) or just that she felt sharing her excitement would be particularly painful for me. We do still see each other but even though I also have a little one now, it’s not the same.

Once you’ve shared your news and she’s had time to process, maybe ask her how much she wants to hear about? She might like to share your joy, or she may want to be happy for you without hearing all the little details. xx

I had a similar situation with a friend who has been trying for a long time and has had two miscarriages. I decided to tell her via private message before telling the rest of our friendship group, that way she had time to digest and react to the information privately. Whatever you do, don’t tell her in person or on the phone - my friend had someone else do this to her and it really upset her as she had to react on the spot. My friend has been incredibly supportive throughout my pregnancy.

I’m going through a loss right now, but in all honesty if my best friend turned around and told me she was pregnant I’d be happy for her, maybe a little sad at the what ifs as both of you would have had baby at same time and that is the dream. But only someone who is bitter and resentful won’t be happy for you. If she is really close to you I would tell her in person and before the 12 weeks. You might both have a cry and a cuddle and that’s ok. It really depends how close you are. But if it were my best friend coming to me I’d want it in person. X

@Ella thank you for your honest advice and so sorry to hear this. Yes, she’s a best friend and having mixed responses of in person and message. My gut was to tell her in person but feel terrible putting her in the position to try and feel happy for me when she’ll be hurting a lot. X

I’ve had similar situation, I had a miscarriage and my friend also found out she was pregnant she didn’t want to tell me and she made herself poorly and stressed because she didn’t know how to tell me, I was over the moon for her and like I said to her, just because I had a loss never means I’ll never be there supporting her! Your best friend will always want the best but tell her yourself don’t let her find out other ways as that would upset her x

Yes I mean obviously you would do it sensitively, but i really feel like being there in person and having that embrace, possibly shedding a few tears will give her comfort in that moment. Rather than txt is quite distant and cold and how you might tell someone you’re not that close to. Thats just me and my opinion though, you know her and your friendship better than we do. Xxx

"I've got some news I want to share but I understand it's going to be alot for you. Do you want to come round for a cuppa or shall I just tell you know??" This was the message my best mate sent to me 2 weeks after I'd miscarried. I got the gist straight away and it gave me a chance to process. I went round a couple days later and we hugged and cried then laughed.