Not actually happy
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It’s very common to feel this way, especially when you feel like you’re alone. The hormones from being pregnant probably aren’t helping much either with how you’re feeling. I would talk to your OB about potentially taking some meds to help take the edge off. Mine had prescribed a low dose of Zoloft to help me feel a bit better. It helped with getting out of the anxious/depressive mental state I was in at that time. Motherhood is hard and so is pregnancy. Give yourself some grace. You’re doing wonderful. If you need someone to chat with, feel free to message me 🙂🩷
i went through the same feelings when my son was that age, it ultimately ended up coming from the feeling of constantly being needed and never getting to be spontaneous. it took a lot of distractions and adjusting schedules to fit in time for me to feel ‘dumb’ again, i dove into audiobooks and books and creative things that didn’t take a ton of effort. it gets better, once they start walking and don’t need constant eyes-on attention it gets better 💕
Take a deep breath and remember you got this. I won’t type an essay about how motherhood is the hardest but most rewarding job and all those typical things people say because that never worked for me, that’s something you have to navigate and get to the conclusion of, yourself. Really easy to look at your life when becoming a parent and thinking wow wtf has happened! You sometimes get this feeling of is this who I am now, because I don’t feel that way on the inside. Sending you tons of prayers and know you’re never alone - I hope you’re able to take it a day at a time, fill your heart up, be content and carve a life out of what you have, to create a life better than you’ve ever dreamed of with your partner & LO’s.