Daughter now saying I’m not her mum and doesn’t want to live with me
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I'm in a similar position and my older two 6 and 7 use the line I want to live with my dad often when I tell them off and my 3 year old becomes distant after his monthly visit and cries that he doesn't want to go home. It hurt at first but I realise his way of communicating that this change is affecting him and he misses the consistency of dad's presence. In between he is fine just the first few days after visits and his behaviour deteriorates. I just hold him, acknowledge his sadness and talk about him missing his dad. I have frequent conversations in a positive light with him about his dad, our relationship broke down but he still remains their father. I dread it but over time it's gotten better.
As its after visits to his parents. I would question what they were saying to her personally
@Mel s yeah she was 3 in November.
@Anita I will try that but it’s just so heartbreaking when I’m the one doing everything for her and have done since the day she was born even when he was around.
@Suzie that’s what my mum said also as she doesn’t do it when she goes anywhere else. Sometimes it like “I don’t want to go home” which I get if she’s having fun. But only ever this bad once being at theirs.
Hmm there no way to actually test it as getting word for word from a 3 year old is near impossible. I feel for you as if that is the case that is totally horrible. They should be thankful you take the time to keep their contact up. The not wanting to go home comments are totally normal for her age the other isn't. Could you maybe milk it a bit with the grandparents saying your taking her to be seen by a doctor as to why she says it. See if they admit it or even better stop it? They won't want her being labelled as anything she's not as they must care about her as well
She's 3?