I need someone to make me feel better :(

Sorry your husband is going through this at the moment and your facing some judgment. it must be really difficult for you both at times. That seems really judgemental and quite apethetic to say something like this. Life is full of challenges and this is something you are navigating together. I know it’s easier said than done but try to not let comments like this influence your relationship or life. Sending you love!

I know it isn’t easy being with someone suffering with their health, whether mental or physical, but to allude to the fact that you’re dumb for not picking someone “better” to spend your life with is truly sad. Do you love your husband? Because usually when you swear your vows, taking them in sickness and in health is a big part of that. I could be wrong but it sounds like you’re annoyed with him for being unwell and feel like you could do better?

@Daisy I’m just in tears :( This is the reason I can’t open up to anyone. Because of constant judgement from family. Financially it’s a very difficult time and it’s not a place I would’ve ever imagined I’d be in few years back.

@Ari yes exactly. This is why I can’t understand. she mainly said it because of his personality. He is not very confident and is anxious person. So was wondering why I didn’t pick this up. I’m not annoyed at him but I must admit I feel annoyed at myself a little that maybe I should’ve predicted my life will go ‘down’ ( having kids earlier on the relationship rather than waiting it which put me a financial disadvantage as now he is also out of work). But I believed we would thrive.

There's no way you could have known. She's wild af for saying that. She sounds snooty and like she thinks her shit don't stink.

I can completely understand how hard it must be with kids and your husband not earning at the moment. It sounds like you’re under stress from your husbands struggles, financial struggles, and even just being a mum is hard enough without all these extra things. You aren’t dumb, no one can predict the future and your sister shouldn’t have made the comments she made. One thing I can say is that life is constantly changing and though you’ve found yourself in a hard chapter at the moment, this will pass and there will be better days ❤️

She's a shitty person. She's basically just saying she doesn't like your partner. The correct response is "I married him on purpose because I love him. That was an unkind and unhelpful thing to say". If she doubled down, I'd ask her to leave.

I’m sorry your husband is going through this. I’m also sorry that your sister sounds a bit of a bitch. You aren’t dumb, there’s nothing wrong with how your husband is feeling, you’ve got each other & that’ll get you through this❤️

I feel sorry for what happened to you. I believe there should be a better solution rather than just dump your husband. Try to understand where and when this problem started. What was the cause. Maybe it’s possible to fix. Maybe some therapy will be helpful. Of course, he needs to have a desire to work on this, because efforts from your side only won’t be enough

There is a reason male suicide rates are so high. Men just don't talk and open up which leads them further down the depression rabbit hole. And you don't always see it. Your sisters a class 1 a hole I am afraid. Your husband just needs love and support right now and maybe a bit of therapy (trust me having someone to just unload on feels great)

Depression is an illness. If someone is unemployed due to an illnesses, is it a reason to dump them? Of course not. You're a family, in good times and bad times, and I am sure he is a sweet person and supports you with whatever he possibly can given his condition We don't fall in love / "select" partners based in their health condition or future employability

Thank you everyone. It made me feel better! My sister in law also thinks that he doesn’t work on purpose and making things up ( despite herself only just started to work a year ago and has the audacity to say she works with epilepsy so why can’t my husband not work). And then they wonder why I don’t want to share anything with them. Because they always, always look down at me and my decisions. He has received some therapy but unfortunately it hasn’t helped much. But he seems a little better than where he was at the beginning despite him not seeing the progress.

@Ari I really hope it does pass :( it’s been several months and I’m shattered. Not even sure how I’m going but somehow I am surviving. But comments like this really put me down.

@Ari the other thing is occasionally he blames me for the things he goes through as thinks it started because of me. Apparently if I showed more love he may have not gone through this ( he acknowledges now that I’m doing everything to support him). But at that time I did the best of my ability anyway. So times like that it makes me hurt and when my sister/sister in law mentions these things it plays in my mind more and I get annoyed at myself. But I try to think that he is not ‘normal’ at the Moment so he says what he says

Stop talking about your husband to your family and friends…they are the worst and the most judgmental…marriage is for better or for worse for sickness and in health…also beware of talking about your husband/marriage to other women who are not married…she has no right to come out and say you should have married someone else…unless he is abusing in which you have not stated then that’s your husband and she is being really disrespectful saying he is not good enough for you…now you are questioning if she was right or not…mama don’t let negativity from anyone question your marriage..she might be jealous…you have to think things happen and people get sick…in. A marriage you take care of your spouse you take care of each other

Your SIL is trying to destroy your marriage…it will be better to get therapy, work on your relationship with God…she is really the enemy and not your friend at all

May I please suggest you something. There are many good practices which can help a human to put their mind together. I’ll describe one exercise which really helps. Maybe it won’t resolve all of your problems, but it will really help to start seeing the way out. Exercise called “a thanking book”. All you need is to have a new notebook, pen and patience&self-discipline to work on it every day (no skipping). Ones a day you need to write down 2-3 sentences (no more,cz you will get bored from it fast). Write about what are you thankful for. For example: “ dear God, I’m thankful for being alive, for having 2 legs and 2 arms. I’m thankful that I have a good vision to see this beautiful world. Thank you God, that I’m not in a war zone…., etc,” In case you are not a believer, feel free to use “Life” or “universe” instead of “God”, that’s not a problem. This exercise has to be done daily. Any time, doesn’t matter, BUT DAILY, otherwise it won’t work. If both of you and your partner do this

If both of you and your partner do this systematically-daily, you will see a massive difference just in 3-4mnths

One day you may even say “thank you “ to your cruel sister, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. There are cases in this world where enemies, who put you down triggered you to become strong and bring your life to another level

I wish you all the very best 💪🏻🫶🏻

I'm sorry to hear your husband is going through this. Mental health can come and go, some days can be better than others but he can get professional support for it and get on the right track again. I do not agree with what your sister is saying. That is not her being supportive towards you at all. During this time she needs to be supportive not telling you what you should of done. You married him and now you are their to support him.

It is not your fault. Men change incredibly if they think you have nowhere to go and will not leave them. And they also blame you for their problems and their frustration, even if you did nothing wrong to them, as if blaming you takes the fault away from them for not having the life they wanted/think they should have. When dating/getting to know each other they play amazing and once you have children and are bound they give the worst of them. So you are not dumb at all. This is a risk all women take when settling down and often men turn out to be like this. Your sister sounds very immature, like she feels smarter by criticising you and doesn’t realise doing this is just pushing you away from your family. If I was you I would tell her clearly she has no right to judge me and my life and I will not tolerate this behaviour. If she no longer wants to talk to me that’s fine, but if she does she needs to respect me.

I clicked the wrong button! It should have been you’re not wrong