Mom friends - theory vs. reality...
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I wanted to be a mum who meets up and goes out n about around a month or 2 before birth of my first baby and so for me, the end of my pregnancy was a bit tumultuous which put a halt to things pre-baby and then having a new baby hasn't given me the free time or ability to safely schedule something and I dont want to commit myself to a meet up that I might be too tired for on the day and let others down last minute so I've sort of put meet ups on the back burner for that reason. In short, it's that I underestimated what having a new baby would be like and how much time I thought I'd have an abundance of.
I didn’t know this before joining this app but a lot of mums have social anxiety or anxiety in general which keeps them from going to new places and meeting new people. I’ve also found for me as someone who is actually here to meet, peanut has been okay for me but FB local mum groups are much more successful as the host and others tend to plan group meets and outings whereas a lot of mums feel weary meeting one-on-one. Some don’t even want to send that first msg out of fear of rejection and just wait around for others to msg first.
@Kellie the group I'm talking about came about from FB and it's group events where everyone says they want to come out and then only a few if any will actually come or commit with payment if it's an activity where we'd bring someone in so had to cancel so many times. So the question to you and @Kelsey what can we do to get past that anxiety? Personally I'm a very open-minded no-drama no-judgement type person and I don't want to feel anxiety or make someone anxious, just want to truly get to know people and become friends so that motherhood journey isn't lonely...good bad and ugly! What can we do to remove anxiety from the equation? Might be a loaded question but it is a real problem that needs solving ..
I did an NCT class and whilst the wider group doesn't meet or chat in the WhatsApp Group, three of us got on really well and met multiple times a week while on maternity leave and still meet now we are all back at work. A 4th Mum joined our group that we met at a baby Yoga class. We did a lot of classes/playdates together and met other Mum's and gelled with them but as we had our group we didn't need to find new connections, however I found lots of Mums were eager to chat and connect. Might be worth going to classes and forging relationships with those already going to classes as those Mum's are more likely to commit to classes/playdates as they are already out there doing things. X
Anxiety. I want so badly to do mom groups and meet ups etc. And the only successful thing I've managed is story time at my sisters library every Tuesday. And it's because she's the assistant branch manager. Every other mothers group or met up I've found, verbally or mentally committed to I panicked my way into not going. Anxiety about new people. New places. Will they like me in person? Will I like them? What if Ro has a meltdown? What if she's to much/not enough? What if I'm to much/not enough? The What ifs and if thens mentally exhaust me out of going. Sometimes even out of online groups or responding to chats on here. I've always been anxious but motherhood has cranked it up 12 notches.