i am so tired of being a single mother and isolated

i feel numb i dontvl remember my pregnancy giving birth newborn stage i think im depressed. i havent adapted to having a baby. i do everything to look after him but i feel disconnected the pregnancy itself was unplanned and a shock. i feel like i lost myself and no longer have a life. i like being a mum but im tired and mentally drained from night feedings to washing milk bottles 100 times. same routine everyday i want to jusy be alone to remember who i once was and what my life was like.