What should I do?

It’s going to be really hard at first and I am still going through this myself. It’s not an easy process but if your able to find someone you can trust eventually to help you watch your baby it’ll be the best thing. I moved out of state at 7 months pregnant and have zero family here in arizona. My family is in California and my mom judges and questions everything I do. Never heard from anyone that I am doing such a good job or anything so I understand where you are coming from. I found a married couple who can be my grandparents essentially and it’s been a tremendous help for me. It’s scary but they love and adore my son and it gives me time to be normal for a couple of hours. It’s mentally exhausting and emotionally draining especially if you don’t have anyone and more if you have PPD. but you’ll get through it and realize how resilient and strong you are and trust yourself and your instincts at the end of the day if they aren’t there to support you then you don’t need them around

If you are religious (or not) I HIGHLY recommend finding a church in your area. You may have to try out a few to find a good fit but churches can provide a wonderful community of people. I know mine did.

I have no village either, I have my husband and no one else. His mum is here but she's very unhealthy and not a very nice woman so it's best to not go to her for any kind of support if you don't want to feel worse lol. You are stronger, smarter and more capable than you feel. You're going to do just fine and there's other ways of support. I go to a sensory baby class once a week with my LO and I feel sane talking to other mums and seeing how every baby develops different, that settles the new mum anxiety. I go for a walk daily with my baby and talk to the lovely old men and women who always love a new baby. I feel less alone. There also church baby groups that have prayer and advice. You will find your way. It will be hard at times but these times do pass. And I love that I am everything for my daughter and I don't have too many opinions on how to raise her.