Herpes - partner positive

I hate to break it to you but he can still pass on herpes without an outbreak.

So the risk is lower without an outbreak, but it's absolutely possible to pass the virus without one.

My previous partner had it, never had an outbreak while with me and we didn't use protection. However he was on medication for it to reduce the risk of contagion having had it since he was 18. It is still possible for you to contract it without him having an outbreak, I would suggest you get regular tests to make sure you don't get it :) Hope that helps?

@Chloe I started looking into the antiviral medication to suggest. His levels are rly low idk if they’ll prescribe it? but I’ll tell him to ask. He said he’s never had an outbreak & doesn’t know when he got it. But he was celibate for over a year after finding out he had it. I read that asymptomatic shedding typically happens within 1st few months of contracting it. I talked to a gyn about it & she was sooo nonchalant about it & said they don’t typical test for it because so many ppl have it & don’t know & made it sound like nbd…but I’ve never had an std & would rather not. 🙃🙃🙃 We’ve used condoms since we started having sex. Idk if either of us want condoms to be a forever thing…but he’s feeling like a forever thing so it feels worth brainstorming

100% ask about the antiviral, they may not prescribe it, but it's worth a go because that does mean you won't have to use condoms forever. Although as I say, do bare in mind, even on the medication it can be passed on (it's just much lower risk) so still get frequent checks even with. But I was with my previous partner for 2 years and didn't contract it, but that's not to say it couldn't have happened.

@Chloe gotcha. I will. And that’s helpful to hear, thanks… we’re not anti condom, but things happen 🫠 and condoms forever is a lot lol

Been with my husband 13 ish years. I’ve never had an outbreak, lots of unprotected sex, but not when he’s had an outbreak .

Don’t get me wrong. I do avoid him in that way if he does have an outbreak. Eg if he used my towel after a shower it’d go straight in the wash 😂 and I make sure he sleeps in his underwear !

@Gilly oh wow, and youve tested negative for it like within the last few years? Just curious because then this is just giving examples of parters successfully not contracting it. (But medically they can’t say “if there’s no outbreak there’s no transmission” or even if it’s studied and the chances are 0.001 of transmission asymptomatically, they have to still say there’s a chance) Yea if my partner were to actually get an outbreak I would definitely avoid him sexually too & not even kiss him, but like not make him feel like a leper lol. I hope he never gets one that’d be cool….ive never had an std and don’t want one. Also he shouldn’t be using your towel if he has an outbreak, I would be upset by that😩

It’s sooo common. A lot of people have it that don’t even know they have it