AIBU Am I being unreasonable?

Husband and I have been together for over a decade, our baby is 1 year old. Our relationship has taken a lot of strain since becoming parents. It was my birthday and although I’ve told my husband before that I really appreciate a little fuss on my birthdays, this time I didn’t even get a card from him (nevermind a gift). The gift I kind of understand as all our money is going to baby’s birthday party but I thought a card would be manageable. Am I jumping to conclusions here thinking our relationship is officially dead and maybe should call it a day (since he clearly doesn’t care about making me feel special anymore)? Feels like a waste to throw it away and leave but I also feel really hurt and unseen. Thanks for reading.

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Maybe speak to him about it. Life changes after a baby, like a lot. And it takes time to adjust back to a routine. He might not have meant it in a bad way, the only way you can find out is to let him know how you feel and talk to him about it. 🙂

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable feeling that way. From my perspective birthdays are important also there’s no need of huge or expensive gifts, it’s the thought. But I also believe before taking the decision you should try to talk to him, look for a good moment, maybe at the end of the day when the house is quiet or if you happen to have someone to leave your baby with and grab lunch. You can be honest and tell him how that made you feel and ask him what’s going on, tell him to be completely honest. My baby is 6 months old and I do feel our relationship has changed. If you need someone to talk you can text me. 😊 I hope everything turns out good for you.

Speak to him. My husband put hardly any thought into my birthday last year when our second baby was 3 weeks old and I told him it’s like he’s forgetting me and he was never like that. He then made Christmas better..

Let him know how he made you feel. Our relationship drastically changed when we had our first baby. All of a sudden there was nothing spontaneous and I felt like we had lost us. If I say I don’t need something or not to make a fuss my husband takes it literally. He knows it’s probably not the right thing to do but feels he will upset me if he does or doesn’t. Maybe you could try to have a night out together or even have pizza and movie together when baby is asleep. Sounds like you just need some time together to get on the same page again. Even though your baby is 1 maybe he still is figuring out the new normal as a family.

Deffo talk to him about what you would like going forward and also return the same effort for his birthday, which was none. Don't think the relationship is dead.

I’d be really upset if my husband didn’t even get me a card for my birthday. We’ve definitely been a lot more low-key since our baby was born but he still put some effort into making me feel special. He surprised me by getting a card and present specifically from our baba as well. It really doesn’t take much to get a card, or bring home a little cake, or even make a little present with a toddler handprint if there’s no money to spare. I would be wondering - did he forget or does he just not care? I agree with others - you should talk to him. But don’t let him off lightly - he needs to explain what was going through his head. Was it a deliberate decision to do nothing, or was it careless forgetfulness?