I just texted my boss yesterday and I told her I wasn't coming back. I debated for a while but I just couldn't do it.
This side of parenting is brutal. Trying to find a balance between the guilt but having to earn to live an afford things. It's horrible and I'm sorry you are at the worst of it (the start) but it does get slightly easier over time.
It’s so hard. Remember you will still see your baby every single day. Your baby will still love you, and as long as he is in a safe setting will still continue to thrive. It will get easier with time