Yall help me out.

Neither. I only ask if it’s truly a necessity emergency. I’m the bread winner however, so naturally I feel like, weird to ask him? Idk 😐 Sometimes he’ll send me a little bit out of the whim

My husband has me control the finances since I am good at budgeting and keeping bills in order, so I just use as needed/able.

I usually ask… we share accounts though. I handle the bills if we have extra I’ll get it

We have a joint account, so it’s really our money. I don’t need to ask to spend on everyday items. For bigger purchases, though, we usually check in with each other first to stay on the same page financially. We make decisions together.

Nope. Joint accounts

He puts money in joint account for bills and my spending. On maternity atm but when I go back I will have my own money again although everything we earn is shared

We have a joint account and Im the one taking care of our finances. He asks me to spend his own money 😂

Joint checking/ savings. 🤷🏻‍♀️ been like that since before I was a SAHM. His money is mine and mine his.

My husband and I share an account. It’s our money not his money. I’m usually the one who keeps track of what bills need to be paid. We decide together what to purchase. It’s a team effort. We’re a partnership not roommates.

Both

lol why am I asking my Husband for money that is both ours and why is he sending me like I don’t have access to it lol In my household, married means we share everything and there is no need to ask. Bt I’m with @Stephanie I’m better at budgeting our money so I’m usually the one telling him how to spend lol I’m in control

So we have 2 joint accounts. One savings and the other is strictly for bills which payments are on autopay. We also have separate accounts for miscellaneous spending. While I was working we contributed the equally to the savings. Now that I have been a SAHM for 9 months, he’s the sole contributor. Also I don’t have money in my personal account. My sister asked me for gas money today so I took $45 from our savings to give to her then I told my husband about so that he was aware. My husband got upset that I didn’t communicate that with him first. I understand his perspective of me asking first but at the same time, I have also contributed to the savings.

I do the finances and have access to all the money. But if I want to buy something bigger I’ll usually talk with him first about it.

Mind you I’ve never dipped into our savings for anything ever because he usually sends me money whenever he gets paid. But he didn’t this time. So I didn’t really see an issue i guess asking him before I did it.

He got “upset” over $45? Sounds like he is overreacting. I mean unless there was only like 50 bucks in there then I would be a Little bit more inclined to side with him bt u also took out the money to help ur a family Member; so it wasn’t like it was just random spending! Idk I think he is overreacting, telll him to take a chill pill

There’s thousands in that account. It wasn’t the $45 he was upset about. It was me not talking with him first. Either way, I thought he was overreacting as well.

Joint account. There's no asking. He trusts me to do all the finances and make decisions myself for the family. I would find it extremely uncomfortable if I had to ask for everyone's purchase. Sure big things we both talk about before hand but if i want to get my nails done or buy new pants I don't need to ask.

Joint account that has always received all our money, pays all our bills, savings andpersonal allowance paid from joint account to personal accounts.

We have a joint account. It’s considered both our money. I don’t have to ask to spend it

We have two accounts. One is his and one is joint, I have a debit card to the joint and he added me to his credit card that he just pays.The joint account was when I was working too. But I've been a stay at home mom for almost two years now. He doesn't question me about money spent but I also don't splurge unnecessarily unless we're together and both agree on it. He's the same.

Both if I run out of money and say I really need gas I ask but usually he gives me money for necessities and stuff I want but we’re working on opening an account under his for when I need anything

I have one of our credit cards. If I need money besides that, I usually just ask and it's never an issue. I also have full access to his banking portal and my own.

Honestly it made life so much easier when I made a budget for every week or paycheck. All the money is moved to a joint bills acount and then I move a certain amount to savings and me and my husband both keep a spending amount in our own accounts, we both agree on the amount and both get the same, then there is no asking for money unless we want to get something really expensive and we talk about what we will cut back on (cut back on saving for a while or cut back on going out) when I had no income at all this made me still feel in control of finances and feel like I could buy my husband a gift without him seeing it, or feel like I'm being treated as a kid.

For those saying you have a joint account because it's "our money" but it's him working to bring it home, how does that work? Genuine question, because I'm a full time stay at home and my only income is child benefits

@Natalie I’m not sure. If I want food, I go and buy food. We stick to a strict budget regarding bills and we try to pocket leftovers into savings but small purchases like lunch/coffees are just up for grabs. Anything bigger is spoken about. Like I just bought clothes for our daughter and that was a slightly bigger purchase. I’d say a strict budget following bills and then a basic understanding of what your spending limits are for leftover money. Some couples set strict rules like “5$ limit only without discussion and everything else needs to be talked about or told”. It’s not a control thing either it’s really ti make sure everyone is on the same page with financial goals. That kind of leaves out getting “special” gifts for one another but gifts aren’t really our thing so that’s not an issue for us.

@Natalie In my husbands eyes, it's our money because his work every day brings money into the house but my work every day brings up a child. We both work, its just that my work doesnt have a monetary value, so he makes money for both of us.

@Natalie the idea is that even if one person’s bringing in the money, it’s still “our” money because we are both contributing to the family in different ways. You being a SAH parent is a huge job in itself. You're doing all the daily work that keeps everything running, which lets your partner focus on bringing in the income. If you were to go out and get a job, a big chunk of what you’d earn could end up going straight to daycare costs. Sometimes it barely feels worth it because you’re working just to cover childcare, which totally cancels out a lot of the extra income you’d bring in. It just makes more financial sense for my family. So while one person’s earning, the other’s saving money by taking care of the kids. It’s still a major contribution, even if it doesn’t show up in a paycheck.

It's very admiral, my husbands view on things is, he works for it so it's his money. He still pays the bills but we don't have a joint account

@Natalie the law says it’s marital money. Even if you’re not married, as long as is it’s a joint account

@Natalie that’s not admirable.

@Natalie if that works for you it’s fine, otherwise maybe just having a casual talk about how both roles matter equally could help him see it from a more balanced perspective. It sounds like your husband is more like a traditional man. But here’s the thing: you’re a team, and it takes both of you to make everything run. Without all the work you put in at home, he wouldn’t have the time or headspace to focus on his job the way he does. You’re taking care of things at home, which is just as important, even if it doesn’t come with a paycheck. Would he take care of the childcare costs if you decide to go back to work? Or would you guys split the cost equally?

I just inform him I want or need things and he says ok and hands me whatever card to use or sends me money to replace whatever I spent of my own. We have separate accounts entirely but our finances are a joint situation overall.

@Natalie That's kind of sad that y'all view it that way. Taking care of a child prevents you from getting a job. Prevents you from making money you could spend on yourself. So why is it not a job since it's being done full time? Are you taking care of your child? Is it not hard? Is it not time consuming? Is that not worth anything? If the roles were reversed, would you not be grateful for your husband that you don't have to put your child in a daycare? I don't understand this yours and mine thing in a marriage. Y'all are a team. If he's broke, you're broke. If you win the lottery, y'all win the lottery.

@Tanisha Probably just more of an English thing maybe, I dunno

@Natalie we have a joint account he works … he makes sure we have everything I’ll send out… if it’s want I usually ask he doesn’t care unless it’s something big we talk about it but if he’s away and I need things like out of town I’ll get a budget

I have a bf not husband but when he gets paid he hands be money outside of bills (he also has his own money outside of bills ) and when that money runs out it’s just gone and I wait till he gets paid again and we’re doing just fine ? Is that bad lol I haven’t seen no one say that 😟

Both, he send me money for some bills that I pay online and some in person but he'll keep some money on a debit card linked to his personal account so I can get something I want or something for the house that was missed during regular shopping