Time off work

We found out yesterday that we had a missed miscarriage. LMP was 10th September so I should be 10 weeks but there was only a yolk sac and no embryo visible. I'm due to go back for a follow-up up scan next week but this morning I started bleeding quite heavily. I went into work because I didn't know what else to do. I'm a senior leader, I've got an investor meeting tomorrow and due to be hosting our full company annual event the week after next. I don't know what to do. I had a very premature baby in February who passed away at 10 days old. I took 2 months off. I don't want them to know I'm TTC again, I don't want to leave my team in the lurch, but physically and mentally I guess I need to take some time? How much time is recommended? Can my Dr give me a note that doesn't explicitly say what the problem is?

Show your support

Oh my goodness, that is tough. Unless your employer is a monster, I don't know why they wouldn't allow you some time to process! I understand you would like to keep it confidential though. Do you have an HR person you feel comfortable chatting with? They could keep it confidential from the rest of the team for you and hopefully advocate for you. My OB probably wouldn't write me a note like that, but maybe yours is better 😂 definitely worth a try if you don't feel comfortable going to anyone at your work. Best of luck! I hope you can find some time for self care during this tough time. 💕

They would allow me the time, they're actually lovely, it's just going forward I don't want them having in the back of their mind that I'm going off on maternity leave at some point. I'm 44, it's not a given that this will work out and if it doesn't I really don't want it to impact my career. I'll try and speak to my Dr tomorrow and see what they say.

My doc gave me a note when I had my miscarriage and it excused me from work for 3 days and it didn’t say why

So sorry for your double loss. I had a MMC end of August (scanned 25th, bleeding started lightly initially 29th) when I should have been 10 weeks but baby stopped growing at 7 weeks. I didn’t go back to work till 21st October, it took so long due to retained tissue. 😞 I would really consider taking some time off whilst you pass this pregnancy 💔. I’m not sure if it varies depending on when it stopped progressing for you and I don’t want to scare you but I intermittently passed some extremely large clots and had very heavy bleeding. I would have hated to experience this in work in the public toilets. No one warned me the extent of what it would be like, I honestly thought it was going to be a heavy period 😳 The Dr sorted out my sick note and gave an option whether I wanted the reason on it It’s a horrible experience to go through and I understand the stress it’s caused you with the idea of having to go off work, I had only been back 3 weeks from mat leave 🫣 x

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌