AITA or is she?
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And I know this is pathetic but I have serious social anxiety and now I just feel like leaving the mum group and hibernating. I find it so hard to make friends. Women just don’t seem to like me 😢
You're not an arsehole, but personally I wouldn't have said anything about the gift of wishing my child happy birthday but that's just me, when it's her child's next birthday I just wouldn't make the effort. I would've just said I don't have an issue with you. Can you explain what you mean when you say that I'm always negative towards you? If you don't get along, then I just wouldn't continue a friendship with her and get on with my life it really wouldn't bother me. If the others are nice to you, then continue to be friends with them. You're not wrong for saying how you feel, though. i mean, she's been petty enough to message you in the first place
I wouldn’t have mentioned the gift thing if you genuinely disagree that you weren’t being mean towards her. It is rude that she didn’t even wish your baby a happy birthday when you wished hers a happy birthday and it’s a group where you’re all familiarized with each other. Why would she bring up you having an issue with you? I find that definitely weird especially after celebrating her baby’s birthday. I’d just throw the well that didn’t sit well with me response right back to her. I’d completely ignore her though and if anyone asks let them know what happened.
It's only really a problem if you bought her child a gift. Then she would be the one in the wrong for not giving your child a gift & complaining when you called her out for it. If you weren't that close to her to begin with, then I wouldn't have let it bother you & wouldn't have said anything.
She doesn’t sound a nice person tbh if you went to her child’s party/brought a gift,made the effort & in return she hasn’t made any effort then messaged to cause an issue.. Personally if I was you I would just leave her to it, don’t message with her privately you know for next year both just won’t attend eachothers party & if you enjoy the mum group I’d definitely keep it up don’t let one person ruin it for you and your little one! I hope you’re ok! X
It’s just totally out of the blue. And actually what’s worse was that I said we weren’t sure about going to a meet up because my little boy might have a sickness bug and her only response (after everyone else wishing him well) was that she could do without her son getting poorly…
“The present comment isn’t one that sits well I must say” Looool the petty Pisces in me would have to drag her now because why is she trying to make out she’s better than you? 😵💫 The enlightened me would say fuck that bitch (not via text 😆) and just avoid interacting with her when in the group. Focus on the other friends you’ve made and when it comes to birthdays, I would just drop her and her kid out like she did to yours. Especially now she messaged you, there’s no need for any niceties anymore lol. Don’t let your anxiety get the better of you. One bad apple doesn’t ruin the bunch. Not everyone will like you and that’s ok!
I think you handled that perfectly tbh, although my curiosity (and argumentative side🤣) would have me asking her for what exactly i’ve said in the group that was negative towards her
@Neena I am a Pisces & exactly the same 😃
@Lauryne I was going to and even have screenshots of all our interactions (me saying her sons video is cute, wishing her happy birthday when no one else did, rearranging our group plans to be closer to her house as she lives further away), but when she said I’ll leave it at that I decided I wouldn’t bother chasing her for more. I think she’s actually just a bully who has taken a disliking to me. I feel better for reading all your messages, thank you everyone 🙏🏻
She sounds like a self entitled full of herself pos. She sounds like she thinks she’s so young and I guarantee she’s probably a typical mom age. Ugh I’d honestly say don’t message me anymore. I’ve never had an issue with you, but now you’re being problematic all because my son is sick. As a mother that’s very low of you. As for the present comment I’d say how is that low? I came and participated at you child’s birthday, even got them a gift, but you couldn’t even wish mine a happy birthday over message. Now that doesn’t sit well with me. If you have an issue with me and are starting a problem to make it seem like I’m the bad person then say that, but don’t act this way. It’s immature and I do not appreciate it. I’d finish it off with You can block me and leave it at that. I’d still interact with the other moms that have clearly had no issues and let them know exactly what happened with screenshots and all. She sounds like the type of person to start fake rumors and problems.
@Kianna this is exactly all the things I want to say but the end result is me being the one to rock the boat and probably lose friends because of it. I don’t really wanna be in the group anymore and any kind of social gatherings are going to be awkward now but why should I sacrifice my friendships because she’s made me feel like shit? I’m 34 and she’s 25, the other mums are mid to late 30s too. And clearly her age is an issue to her but it isn’t to anyone else, no one could care less. But yeah she’s an immature bully looking for a fight I think
I’d personally say it. You’re not in the wrong and aren’t losing anything. She rocked the boat first. I’d say stay in the group. You can’t judge the other moms because of this smooth brain woman. I’m 24 and was 22-23 when I was pregnant and gave birth so really she’s not young at all lol she’s at the “perfect” age for motherhood so she’s gotta get over that. All my mom friends are in their 40s. I’d really tell the other mom friends you have and ask for their advice too. I’d keep them if they’re not being a problem. I really think this girl is full of herself and doing too much.
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Remember, she rocked the boat and now you’re going to sail it away from her bullshit.
Even if I bought her child a gift I wouldn’t have mentioned the gift just cuz we are all short of cash children are expensive 😂 we’ve got our baby’s first birthday soon and I’m not expecting gifts from anyone as this is the time when mat leave pay cuts off and ur basically biting ur fingernails till u go back to work 😂😂 but saying happy birthday and getting or making a card or something doesn’t have to be expensive it’s just the thought. Seeing the screenshots she does sound a bit weird like age is not something u mention like that in my opinion it has nothing to do with anything. I’m younger than all the moms in my group too and it doesn’t make a difference. Apart from the fact that they’ve been working their jobs longer than I have there’s not much else 😂😂 But I get you I’d wanna leave the group too but I’m gonna say stay strong because the other moms are ones you get along with so keep trying and see how u get on xx hope your wee one gets better though xx
I didn’t mean to vote I don’t think it’s childish but I just don’t think you should put any more time or thought into this person if they wanted to they would it’s childish to start issues like that then deflect when the person tells you their issue I’m sure you didn’t care about the gift and it was more that she didn’t acknowledge the birthday at all
I wouldn’t have mentioned the gift personally bc it shouldn’t be about gift giving. I would just move forward differently with her and know that’s how she is. I would try to not make group meet ups awkward and just continued to keep it friendly but at a distance.
She didn’t care. Why do you? Why does she or anyone owe you a gift?
I didn’t say anything of course, I just let it go. Anyway recently she messaged me privately and asked me if I have an issue as apparently I’m always negative towards her (I looked back and I completely disagree). I said to her that it had upset me that she hadn’t wished my son happy birthday or got him a present. Her response was that it “didn’t sit well with her” that I even mentioned that. Am I wrong for expecting a gift to be reciprocated? All other mums got all other babies gifts. I got her a personalised picture for her nursery… now I don’t know if I’m being shallow?