tell me what you think: wedding.

honestly i’m upset because my fiancé wants to push our wedding back another year to 2026. We got engaged September 14th. i’ve had my wedding planned since i was a little girl but clearly with growing older, budgeting ect we’ve still got planning to do. he says he wants to push it back and just elope so we can save. what was the point of proposing just to keep pushing it out. Should’ve just waited a year. We’ve talked financials several times. our budget is 8000. which is for the wedding itself, not including dress, tuxedo etc. The budget is for the venue, ceremony, alcohol, decoration and any party favors we choose to do. I have found a venue for $3500 ON SALE FOR BLACK FRIDAY! Originally $9,995! We viewed it, loved it, it’s $1000 down and we have until the month of the wedding to pay the rest. (we originally planned to get married September 13th 2025) Great deal! It’s beautiful, has indoor reception outdoor ceremony, they provide some decor pieces, you can bring in any bartenders and catering at no extra cost!!! It’s great! They also have our date available. I’ve found an all inclusive bar tender who would charge a flat rate of 1200 for 5 hours! family is paying for catering and our cake. All the florals and extra decor i’ve totaled so far to $800. that’s $5,500. WAY under our budget. I don’t see what’s the point in pushing it back when i’ve done everything! After before someone says it. I include him in every idea, get his input, ask his the things he likes etc. He told me to plan it and bring it to him basically lol. We have the money. even Alone i could pay for it, so i don’t see what the issue is. and wed still have until next september to save. Even after talking about it, he just says there’s no reason, i just think we should push it back. We’ve been together for 8 years. I’ve thought maybe he just doesn’t want to marry me, but why propose? I’m just so confused and I get no feedback from him about it.

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Yea, weird. Everything sounds like it's aligned perfectly. Why push it back.... after 8 years of dating.. probably proposed to keep you happy, i reckon, sorry :/ my husband proposed on our 3 year anniversary, after doing basically 2 years of the first bit of our relationship long distance. I know every relationship goes at its own pace and timeline. But 8 years of dating seems a bit too long for me, and now the proposal great news! The venue sounds amazing. Why push it back. Weird.

@Cindy i can say 4 of the years we were in high school so i wasn’t expecting marriage then, but the other 4, we have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. i also thought he was kind of doing it to keep me happy. I never pressured him to propose but i did mention it was never in my plans to have children without being married. yk the usual, we have kids, we live together, we do everything as if we’re married. shoot we even have a joint savings account. and we weren’t married and i didn’t like that. That was a conversation when i found out i was pregnant with my second, a year ago! other than that, we really hadn’t even talked much about getting married other than cutesy things. I said that all to say, i don’t feel like i pressured him to do it, like he did it in it on his own.

I really hope it works out and you get what you deserve, my girl xx

“Even after talking about it, he just says there’s no reason” ‘Well if there’s no reason, I’ll go ahead and book it then’. That’s what you should say to him. He does have a reason, he just isn’t sharing it with you. Which is silly because like you said you’ve been together a long time, have kids. Why is he stalling? 🤔

Hmm there’s something up and idk why he’s not opening up about it. Maybe he’s nervous idk. If it’s about money, everyone knows you can get legally married without having a party. And also you already figured out a budget & found stuff & a venue to match that. Idk what to advise because you’ve already tried talking to him..

There is a difference between a wedding and a marriage. Talk to him maybe he thinks £8k should be spent on your kids future not a party? It’s harder to justify spending money like that when you have a family and different priorites. Talk to him :)

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