Birthday party etiquette

I’m struggling with this one as I don’t always understand social cues and expectations - please be kind if it’s an obvious one! What is the etiquette regarding much younger siblings at birthday parties? We have a 9-month-old baby,so they obviously won’t be eating much (anything) or joining in any activities.But would people bring their baby and partner to a 4-year-old birthday for their older child’s friend? Or is it polite to leave them and partner at home?It’s always a bit easier when there are 2 of us but I wouldn’t want to be inconsiderate to the host. This is for both parties at houses and also at birthday party centres (soft play etc). Thanks!
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I’d imagine it’s usually fine when they are so young but if in doubt I’d message / speak with the organiser and check it’s ok to bring them along

I left mine at home with my husband when my eldest had a birthday party to go to. It was just easier!

For us it depends on whose birthday it is. If it is a family member or close friend (e.g we have met partners or spent time together with partners/kids) then I would go as a family. If it's a school friend or someone who hasn't met my husband/second child then I wouldn't bring the second child. Or if the parent hasn't mentioned to bring my second child then I generally wouldn't. Also if it's softplay they usually charge per person, so if the birthday child's family have paid for a package/set amount of children, it's unlikely the sibling would be included. As you have a baby who wouldn't be involved in the activity I would assume this wouldn't be an issue but maybe an issue if the place is small/have been allocated a certain number of seats -So I would ask if not sure ...

My partner works at weekends so if we are invited to a party when I'm on my own with both I just send the parent a quick message to ask if it's OK I bring him along and everyone has always been happy for him to come too.

My 3yo went to her first birthday party a few months ago and I didn’t even think to ask if I could bring my 8 month old. I would feel quite offended if he wasn’t allowed to be with me tbh as he didn’t eat any of the food or crawl around getting into trouble. If he did do those things then I probably wouldn’t have brought him …

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