Can’t agree with partner

Not entirely the same but I was with my ex for 6.5 years when I found out I was pregnant in 2022. It was my second pregnancy after a previous loss at 13 weeks back in 2020. Both were surprise pregnancies (I had nexplanon implant with the 1st & on the pill for 2nd). I had found out about his cheating just before I found out I was pregnant the 2nd time so we were in a bit of a rough patch anyway. He was adamant he didn’t want to be a dad but I also didn’t want a termination as the MC broke me. He gave me the ultimatum when I was 9 weeks and I walked. From my view, I’d have regretted the abortion but never once have I regretted having my son. It was a huge life sacrifice and took some adjusting to, especially doing all of it alone from the get go, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. As the reality settles in, he might be more open to the idea. My sisters partner was terrified initially but then that turned to excitement and anticipation as she got further along xx

I didn't have a similar experience but I must add I think for now at least the initial surprise reaction this is a valid response I think a lot of people man or woman. Some people don't have experience with kids, or maybe really thought of becoming a parent they're just like in a whole new territory when they hear those words and it could be like a freeze, fight, or flight response. Which is natural. I think after some more conversation and time if things don't change then you might have decisions to make but for now I'm sorry it wasn't the reaction you wanted from him but I know things tend to work out how they're supposed to and you stick to whatever you feel is right .

I think it's possible to feel not ready, but still be happy even if it's not verbalized. My husband and I are in our mid 30s, we tried for 4 years so it wasn't a surprise, and did IVF to get pregnant and I still don't think we're ready at 8 months pregnant. I also always wanted a girl, but was convinced I was having a boy. He video taped our gender reveal and I don't look or sound happy at all, but it was all shock. It could be your partner is just a bad communicator like I am? I would wait for the initial shock to subside and then have a conversation.

Yes I think if you weren’t trying then I can understand why his initial reaction wasn’t all happy and excitement. He’s probably panicking a bit. I think have lots of open and honest conversations over these coming days. Nobody is ever truly ready and you really don’t need a big house and loads of money. My parents had their first 2 kids in a 1 bed apartment then when they could move to a bigger place my dad was doing it up every weekend. You just find your way! Plus you don’t need to spend loads of money, you can get a lot second hand quality stuff because babies grow so quickly! We don’t have a separate room for baby they will sleep in our room. Getting a lot from FB marketplace, my husband made a crib from wood he already had. I think we’ll probably spend 1200 in all to get everything we need. It might sound a lot but you can spread that over 9 months!

Men just have a harder time I think emotionally connecting to the baby in utero . But it is normal to feel anxious regardless of it’s a happy time or not. You can do this. You know you want to do this and honestly you were created to do this.

It is still very recent and he might need time to digest it. My husband and I wanted a baby and we still both were overwhelmed finding out. My best friend went through something similar though and her boyfriend came around ❤️ They live in a one bedroom apartment and she was concerned about the size… but she has said that she realized you don’t need a big space for a baby. Even if it wasn’t the magical or happy moment you yearned for, it doesn’t mean that it can’t turn into it. There are a lot of beautiful moments to come and sometimes you can’t fully recognize that until you meet your child and experience them for yourself 🥹

Thank you