FTM and soon to be first time STAHM

I've been a stay at home mum since my 2 year old was born, and I've never had anything but positive responses about me being home with her! I read about societal pressure, but I've personally never experienced it. The first few years go SO quickly and it's so important for you to be there taking it all in and establishing that bond with your kids ❤️

Im in the same situation, and I don't feel that pressures, I have worked all my life and I don't plan to feel bad for trying to be 100% with my baby. I feel bad for the women who would like to be with their children full time and they can't. 😟 I'm happy for you, enjoy the experience 🥰

I'm planning on being a SAHM and quit my job a while back. My own mother was also one and I feel it was priceless to have her in my life in the way she was and still is. I think there's all kinds of feminism out there on the Internet and in the media. And I'm glad people are talking about the ways society holds back women and limits their choices. But I think there's a huge difference in societal problems and individual choices. You can be a feminist while still being a SAHM. And I don't like to devalue the labor of SAHMs. We are gonna be working!

I wouldn’t care about what anyone has to say. They’re not paying your bills or apart of your family. You can go back to work anytime. Enjoy motherhood! If anyone has something negative to say then just don’t talk to them anymore.

First, I would caution you against quitting during your maternity leave unless you’ve thoroughly read your company’s handbook. My former employer had a clawback clause where if you did not return to employment for a certain number of weeks post-leave, they would take back your pay you earned during your leave. This is very common for mid-to-large sized companies. I quit my job about 20 weeks into my pregnancy. My husband makes more than enough to support the three of us. I have gotten a mix of support and judgement. I think the judgement is from people who are genuinely concerned that I won’t be able to get back into the workforce if I want to/need to. My response to that is: I held down a job for a decade, I have a college degree, I am capable and competent and will find something again if I want or need to. You and your husband know what’s best for your family and that’s all that matters!

@Robyn i love to hear that!! That’s what i keep trying to tell myself, i know it will be worth it 🥰

@Alissa thanks for the tip about leave! I should look into that! I agree with your mindset on return to work! If/when I decide to return, anything would be a step up from 0 income so i also wouldn’t go back into expecting my current salary. But even a 20% cut would be fine and maybe even less demanding to still have mental space to focus at home ❤️

That’s also what I’m thinking re: salary. You do what’s best for you!! We are lucky to be able to put work to the side and focus on our little ones. You got this mama 🩷

I just feel so lucky that I’m able to be a SAHM. The thought of someone else raising my baby up until now makes me feel sick and I’m so glad I was able to do it. Sometimes I feel lesser than those who are working still but I know I’m actually just lucky. I do worry about going back to work eventually because o feel like it will be a little harder but I’ve never been happier and more thankful in my life. Don’t worry about that societal pressure. Look into the science of how important it is that the child stays with you through age 3 (yes 3 is the recommended time frame they really need their mommas). I will be putting my 2 year old in a day school for 2 days a week starting this summer to get her ready for the school transition.