Work dilemma

I went back to work on Monday full time. My little girl is 9 months and in nursery 3 days a week and with her grandparents the other 2. I am having an awful awful time!! I’ve had PPD and PPA and was hospitalised for it when she was 5 months old. I’ve rung my mum 28 times today to check in with her as I’m convinced something has happened to my baby. I just don’t feel ready to go back to work at all. I had an emergency appointment with my mental health support worker from the perinatal mental health team and she’s offered to write me an 8-week fit note. Would it be really awful if I went off sick after only being back at work for 4 days?? I just feel that I cannot cope. Work have been so awful as well, they’ve just sat me at a desk and expected me to get on with work. I had to ask for a private room to pump in and one of the IT guys just walked in whilst I was getting the pump ready, it was horrible and I just sobbed after. I just need some reassurance basically that it’s okay to not be okay and to need some extra time. I’m just so worried they will think I’m taking the P coming back just to go off on the sick. I’ve never ever been sick from work before so this would be the first time!
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I'm sorry your work have not been supportive, it sounds like you've had a really difficult time! I'm glad you do have the support of the perinatal team. No, it is not awful to go sick when a mental health professional clearly agrees you need more time. You are looking after your mental health by doing that, just as one would look after their physical health if they realised it was too soon to return to work after an injury. Your work should do better. Do you have a decent working relationship with any managers/supervisors/HR to talk this through and arrange a more suitable return to work?

@Sophie I’m a HR Advisor and my manager is the HR Chief 🙈 so you would have thought it would have been a better experience! They’ve been awful since I got pregnant really and I didn’t want to go back but felt I had to as I needed the money. My partner has just got a new job though and is making a lot more so I feel a lot less pressure to earn more which has been a relief. I know im not ready to go back but I am so anxious to tell them, I want to be honest though and explain that they’ve not made my transition back to work comfortable but since having my little girl I just get so anxious about confrontation. I’m in a bit of a pickle really!

It doesn’t matter what they think. They’ll replace you in a heartbeat so don’t bother stressing over making sure you’re bending over backwards and ruining your MH for them… You need to be home with your bubba for now so take that fit note and go look after you and bubba. Maybe look for another job while you’re at it since they’re not supportive. Do not feel guilt for your feelings or the need you have to be with your little one rn. Good luck!! Xx

@Tricia this is so true. I work in HR so I know they’ll waste no time replacing me! Thank you xx

Exactly hun so do what you have to do because at the end of the day your baby and your MH come before any job you had/have/willhave. You’re welcome xx

Please take the time off to recover. Healing from PPD/ PPA takes its time and it sounds like your work are totally unsupportive… I hope you are able to take the time off and recover x

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