A friend of mine is getting married this year in the summer.

I’m not a fan of asking people to pay for your wedding and people should give what they have or what they want to give.

£100 is a lot. if they asked for gifts instead, i wouldn’t even considered spending £100 on a gift. if they asked for a donation to help towards the cost, that would be different, but essentially charging people to attend doesn’t sit right with me. i guess it depends on life circumstances but yeah £100 per person is unreasonable for me. i appreciate weddings are expensive, but i think they should have gone for what they can afford without expectation of the money from guests.

This sound similar to my culture; wedding guests usually help pay for the couples wedding! Cuz couples do not pay for their own weddings! Usually what happens is the families will come together, plan & make preparations & arrangements for the couple. And the families are in charge of the whole wedding not the couple! The family & friends have to come up with the money & it’s usually donations from everyone the couple/families know.

That’s a no from me. It’s not guests responsibility to fund someone else’s party. If they can’t afford the big wedding, then don’t have one. They can still get married without the party.

That is wild hahaha no way would I pay that.. if you can’t afford to get married don’t get married it not that deep or have a small wedding with immediate family.

If I was asked that I would go to the wedding. Asking for money instead of gifts yes that’s fine but I’ll decide the amount. Also don’t get upset if people still do a gift instead of money. If you need help paying off your wedding then work more hours and don’t go on honeymoon etc. that’s not guests responsibility

That is ridiculously rude, asking for that amount from each guest. They have no right to ask for money towards their wedding. If they can't afford to pay for it themselves, they shouldn't be getting married.

@Jasmin sorry but what a silly culture. No one should pay for a wedding except for the people getting married.

I’m very curious to know the race, ethnicity, culture or original nationality of the friend that’s getting married cuz when I explain what we do in my culture for weddings to others especially my Husband family who are white & American, they do not understand that concept of guests paying for the wedding lol so Im just curious is this a white couple? Cuz white folks or western weddings tend to be different. Even wedding preparations and responsibilities are vastly different depending on cultures/ nationalities etc

@Rachel so in my culture, weddings are not for the necessarily for the couple. Wedding celebrations are for the family, especially parents cuz they are giving their children away. So the family & friends are the “guests” of the wedding so they get to decide what they want for the party. They decide the budget, the location etc. & the couple just sits back & lets everyone else do things. The couple doesnt have to spend a dime lol the weddings are usually VERY big & the festivities can be like be 3days long. It’s very extra. Bt that’s my culture lol. Bt it’s very silly to me that in some parts of the world, the newly wed couple is expected to pay for the wedding. I think that’s ridiculous that young couple has to spend their own money to throw a party for others. In my culture, weddings are very much a “community” planning ordeal. Couples don’t have to go thru the burden of planning their own weddings, their family & friends rally 2gether to make the big day happen for them :)

@Jasmin but it is the couple who want to get married usually, so they have to be the ones to pay for it. We don't get married to please our family & friends.

@Rachel correct ✅ the couple WANTS to get married bt it’s parents or guardians that are the ones giving away their child so essentially its the parents that are ones who “approve” of the marriage in the first place so the couples wudnt even be getting married without family approval. I do agree we don’t get “married” to please our families or friends. Think of this way; the “marriage” is for the couple bt the “wedding” is for the family & friends. And I just want to also say that just because it’s my culture doesnt mean I agree with it cuz I didn’t allow my family to plan or pay for my wedding & my family is still pissed & chooses to not acknowledge my marriage to this day cuz they didn’t get the wedding that they felt like they deserved lol. They do not see my marriage as valid cuz my Husband & I didn’t give them complete control over our big day

I think most people tend to give money at weddings anyway but setting a limit doesn't sit right with me. People should be able to give what they can (or nothing if they cant!). But if they do have a set price, I hope they mentioned it before you rsvp so people can decide what is more important to them 😄

@Deepa yas. Agreed. In my family, when they are planning weddings guests always complain when they are being told or forced to give out a certain amount. I think ppl shud give what they can afford :) it’s always problematic when ppl are told to donate a specific set amount

I don't think £100 is a lot. It's not even going to cover the wedding probably. But I am from a different culture and for us we would give at least £250 as a wedding guests. If you are close family probably around £1000

Omg thats awful! If you havent got the money to get married then dont!!

Absolutely not! I wouldn’t be going if that was the case. Gifts should not be mandatory. Not everyone is in the same financial situation, that would be £500 for my family, we didn’t spend that on our kids for Christmas let alone someone else’s wedding. We normally spend £50 max on a wedding gift

Nope that's ridiculous!

I don't have a problem with people asking for money instead of gifts, but asking for a certain amount is really cheeky to me. I'd normally give £100 as a wedding gift for most people (less if we aren't very close and only been invited for the evening). Asking for £100pp is way too much imo, and wouldn't be affordable for us, particularly on top of buying outfits, travel arrangements, drinks, etc. I think I'd decline the invitation tbh, or else just ignore the amount they're asking for and give what you're comfortable with