How to tell friend struggling with fertility

My best friend has had such a rough couple of years. She’s had 3 miscarriages a horrendous one at 13 weeks and also an ectopic pregnancy. She is the loveliest, kindest person with the best heart and would be the most amazing mother. It’s truly heartbreaking. I’m 9 weeks pregnant and starting to think how I’ll share my news with her. She will be so pleased for us because of the beautiful person she is, but I’m looking for advice on how to tell her in a sensitive way. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much

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I know it might not seem the most sensitive way but I would let her know via message / email instead of face to face.. that way she’s able to process her emotions about it without seeing you if that makes sense ? So if she feels upset or sad etc she will have time to do that on her own before responding. Congratulations by the way x

I would study make sure to tell her before a general announcement. We struggled for a long time and it did hurt to see my friends get pregnant before me, but I was happy for all of them and excited to see their babies and be an Auntie. We now have two beautiful kids, a newborn and a toddler. If they continue to struggle with having children, I hope they can enjoy being an auntie who thoroughly spoils your children.

As someone who went through a 13 week loss and several failed fertility treatments, I would appreciate a text instead of face to face. And don’t be alarmed if her immediate reaction isn’t pure joy. Doesn’t mean she isn’t happy for you, means she is just sad for her. But she’ll come around. Just takes a bit to process. And I also pulled away from a lot of friends. I’m not saying that’s normal or that she should/will. But if she is like me, she might step away for a bit. Just to protect her own heart. But keep in touch and she’ll come around eventually. Again nothing against you. Just a lot of emotions and what not. Heck I now have a beautiful 5m old baby boy and my best friend just told me she’s expecting and it was met with the same feelings as before. They don’t ever really go away. Congrats!

Definitely text! And specifically say you're telling her via text because you want to allow her time to process her feelings about it and that she can take as much time as she needs

Agree with the above. I also had a mc at 12 weeks and I think it’s much easier to deal with her reaction on her own when she processes your news. Also, let her decide if she wants to meet/ be at any baby related events or if she needs space and know that it has nothing to do with you if she does need space.

What she went thru is horrific but it is not your fault and you should still celebrate and feel joy without guilt and if shes a true friend she will be happy for u

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