Best friend pregnant
Show your support
Something that people don’t understand is that rejoicing while someone is grieving doesn’t help. Even the Bible says it. “Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.” Proverbs 25:20 NLT
@Olivia thank you. this also happened to me after my first miscarriage. My sil got pregnant with her fourth and claimed she wasn’t trying. She rubbed in my face and our relationship hasn’t been the same since. That’s why I’m worried. I’m hoping my best friend is more respective than my sil.
Honestly, if she cannot understand, that is not a friend you need. A true friend would be so patient with you and give you unconditional love and support. You’re not doing anything wrong mama🤍
@Olivia thank you 🩷
She’s been very respectful by letting you find out from her and not anyone else and telling you by text so you have space to be sad without the pressure of her seeing your immediate reaction. She’s acknowledged that it will be hard news for you to hear. While you’re right that life isn’t fair, she didn’t get pregnant to hurt you and she’s allowed to be sad about your struggle and be happy about her pregnancy just like you can hopefully be happy for her and supportive even if you’re also frustrated with your own situation
@Jessica very true and very well said
I think the way she told you is very respectful via text giving you space to react naturally and not a shock to see it on social media. Your feelings are completely valid. In time you’ll start to look after it differently. Through experience regardless of whether she was trying or not it is still a very exciting and magical time for her as she clearly wants this baby. Myself and my best friend were due days apart but at my 12 week scan we had no heart beat. initially I went through the “why me” stage of grief but I couldn’t take it out on my friend and her unborn baby every baby is a gift and she had every right to be excited I was never jealous of I the baby itself cause I wanted my baby not hers more just of the situation we found our selves in. Life really is crap sometimes.
I think @Jessica said it very well. She was being respectful by telling you personally but also acknowledging you don’t need to respond and that you can feel sad. It’s ok for you to feel sad for yourself and happy for her. Those can sit in the same space. And it’s ok to not be as supportive as you would like, because you need to protect yourself.
I think (aside from the lol) she did the right thing by texting you. If she’d said it to your face or if you found out later than others it would have been much harder. Don’t reply until you’re ready, say you’re happy but you need some space like she said. Unfortunately like you also said you don’t know how someone who doesn’t understand will act. It’s a shit situation nobody should be in but it’s not going to change. It doesn’t have to be the end of a friendship at all, just look after yourself and be honest and if she is a good friend she will understand ❤️🩹 Time will heal
I know she means well. She’s my best friend and has been my rock. It just feels like a punch in the gut. I’m worried I can’t talk to her about my feelings about ttc and miscarrying anymore bc I don’t want to ruin her pregnancy for her. This is her third. I’m jealous, sad and happy. Thank you all for understanding and the support 🩷
Tell her you need time to grieve, thank her for letting you know. Explain to her that you love her and you’re so happy for her, but you need space right now and can’t guarantee being the supportive friend she needs. My sister in law got pregnant right after my two losses without even trying yet and she never pushed anything on me and our relationship has shifted because she knows I can’t be the supportive friend I want to be right now. If people don’t understand, it’s okay. Your feelings are valid and us who have had a loss understand you. And other people may not.