Tell a friend who is struggling with infertility
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We had this with an immediate family member. we decided to go to their house, tell them, explain we understood they would have a mix of emotions, and left so they could process it. It felt weird saying big news over text but also wanted to respect their right to how they felt. We found going to their house rather than invite them round meant that they didn’t have to make excuses to go, didn’t have to put on a brave face, and didn’t have to drive/travel if upset. I feel like there is never a one size fits all way round do these things but as long as your intention is right and you let them know you understand they will have mixed feelings hopefully it goes ok xx
Congratulations BTW! ☺️
@Nesha thank you for sharing your experience! I will consider doing something similar, I want to tell her in person because she is literally like my sister but I just don’t want to hurt her or do the wrong thing 😢
@Laura thank you, I think going to their house is a really good idea and hopefully it’ll give her the space she needs to process everything. It’s such a difficult situation, I just don’t want to upset her. Thank you for your advice x
You know her best, go with what feels right. Especially if she’s your bestie. Just keep in mind, (as you already seem to) that she might have rather mixed feelings about it. I think low key and private is a good way to be told, and told before you tell everyone else more widely. I hope it goes well. To be transparent, my personal experience is as the person who had infertility problems and honestly would rather be told in person. I always felt pretty happy about people who I was close to getting pregnant, their joy felt separate to my pain. Obviously this is not how everyone feels, so you have to work out this partly off what you think she’d want. 💗
Bit of a different situation but I fell pregnant a couple of weeks after my sister got diagnosed with breast cancer. When I told her she didn't respond how I imagined my sister to, it was slightly shocked and a smile. The next day she apologized to me and said she was really happy for me it was just hard when everyone around her seemed to have things go "their way", whilst she got cancer. I was equally thrown by this because we had a very difficult road to finally convince after years. I think what I'm trying to say is that, just don't have any expectations of how she might respond and also that her feelings will change and be conflicted. I couldn't imagine telling her by text though.
I had 5 miscarriages and heard face to face that friends were pregnant. I was happy for them but it reminded me of how sad I was inside. Just tell her by text and explain you don’t want to sound insensitive by that but just want to make sure she was her space when it comes to that. I wish I was told by text first
We lost 3 pregnancies and preferred to be told by text. We were happy for everyone, but it was a stark reminder of what we had been through. If you choose to tell her in person, I would have zero expectations for her response. Does she know you were trying? A few friends with infertility have told me they often dread catching up with newlywed friends as it often comes with yet another pregnancy announcement.
@Charlie thank you so much for sharing your experience, it’s really helpful x
@Denise I’m so sorry you experience that but thank you so much for sharing this. It’s really helped me to decide what I’m going to do
@Hayley hey, thank you so much for sharing your experience here. I’m so sorry you went through this but thank you again for your advice x
Very similar situation but I was the friend that was being told. Been trying to conceive for 2 years with 3 miscarriages, my best friend of 20 years fell pregnant and before she made a huge announcement at a party or online she took me for brunch and gently told me there. I was of course heartbroken and devastated but I respected how she did it and was please she told me in private before making a big announcement. Allowed me to deal with the situation on my own after this.