Advice from teen moms please!

First question is do you want a baby? Where is babies father?

i’m 21 and i still live at home, and i’m due very soon! you can go to a job centre if you have one available near you and tell them your situation and they can put you on what’s called UC (universal credit) all the child benefits come under there now i believe and you can also phone up a place, not too sure what it is, for a baby grant! and if your eligible for it then they will give you extra money to help buy needs for your baby! You will have to double check all of this tho! i know thats how im going to be helping myself being out of working and not earning much! x

@Mikaela it was unplanned but I’m really looking forward to having a baby. So is my partner (the baby’s father). I’m just worried on how to make it work

@Ellie Thankyou! How far along do you have to be to do this? I’m only 6 weeks at the moment. I’ll definitely give this a go though thank you!

I was 16 when I got pregnant with my daughter. For the first few years, we leaned on our parents quite a bit and signed up for government assistance. My husband started working immediately, and we worked our way up to living on our own. It'll be hard for a little bit, but things do even out.

@Amy ummm i’m not too sure! i know the sooner you get yourself on it the better! but they won’t start giving you any money until baby is here i believe? i’m still to sign upto it myself 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ you’ll definitely have to look into it as that’s the only information i can give you unfortunately! x

@Kayla thankyou Kayla. This is so reassuring. I’ve applied for so many jobs over the past 3 years and I haven’t been accepted for anything. It’s so frustrating

@Ellie thankyou! Definitely sign up to it yourself 😂 take your own advice girl! Haha. Thankyou for that info though I really appreciate it xx

I’m sorry someone who’s obviously not a teen mom answered with such an insensitive question when you asked how to make it work. You got this and will always find a way to make things work when it comes to your kids. Regardless of how early you have them. They’ll help you grow and stay goal oriented. ❤️

@Cass aww thankyou babe 🥲 I really appreciate that. Thankyou so much 🫶🏻xx

I suggest applying for universal credit as soon as possible because then you can apply for the maternity grant when your 11 weeks away from your due date which is a one off payment of £500

@Skye thankyou! I didn’t know about that! Life saver x

I’ve not been in this situation but have some advice that I think is realistic and best for the baby: the baby’s dad needs a full-time job, and you or him should be working on the weekends part-time. This way, the baby is always in 1 of the parents care for the 1st few years. This baby is not being born for anyone else to wind up taking the parenting role: you and him are ones. I assume your parents know and are still allowing you to stay in their home? If so, stay until the baby is in school. By then, the father should be making enough money to where you guys can at least get a small place, and you can return back to work during the week when the baby is in school. Ideally, you guys will live together one this baby is born, possibly in his current home, as you can’t have a baby in a room with your sister but that’s a talk for his parents. I think it’d be very hard to be parents together living apart. It’s going to be a hard long road but I hope it works out.

You don’t get universal credit as a student. You will still get your child benefit. I was a single parent at university and if you have a student loan you can apply for an additional maintenance loan from student finance if you have a dependent but not universal credit, your application will be rejected. You will also be able to get support from student finance for nursery fees, they pay 85% for you. I had a house to run and rent to pay whilst at uni and it all had to come out of my student loan and additional maintenance loan - you do have to pay it back but not until you’re earning £30,000 a year minimum I believe it is now

number one advice is please don’t listen to the people who make you doubt wanting your baby, or say things like “just wait till this” or “your life is over”, you are so capable of having your baby and being so happy! you’ll do amazing, work out a space for your baby in your room or anywhere you can, start saving your student loan, if you have any time with uni maybe try and look for a work from home job, if not you’ll still get maternity pay! just stay as positive as possible, yes it will be hard, but you already know that, and don’t need negative people pushing their opinions on to you🩷

@remy I agree. And in reality there’s never really the “perfect” time for a baby. Babies are hard work regardless. @Amy I wont pretend it’s not hard being a student and a mommy to a small baby at the same time. But I did it and you can too 🙂 Some unis also have nurseries on site. Me and my son went to uni together, and he watched me graduate from the crowd ❤️

Just come to second what @Danielle said, you can apply for UC but your student loan will wipe it out as income so you won’t be entitled to anything. But let me tell you, I ain’t any better off having a baby at 28 than if I did at 19 😂 other than my mentality is different. I ain’t financially better, nothing. So if any advice, it’s just to remind you, everything will work out in the end so try not to worry too tough and ENJOY IT !! Xx

For your first child i believe you could be paid £500, I believe u have to be on uc though, i thinks its called sure start something

I was 19 when I fell pregnant with my first born and I left my relationship and moved back in with my dad and he was my source of income. I feel like as a young mum, if you have a family support system around you that is always going to be there for you and the baby then you are going to get through this just fine! ☺️

Nanny share. Im not a teen mom but Id trust one watching my kid with theirs and then we could trade when you need yours watched.

I was a teen mom (16&17!) who is now mum to teens!! I have sent you a private message with some practical advice I thought might be helpful. 💕 That aside, please do not pay attention to the insensitive and patronising comments that you might come across. Having been in your situation I know too well about how people judge and put you down. Getting a job is not going to solve all of your issues, in fact finishing university/education and getting your degree could quite possibly be the best thing you do for yourself (both of you) and your future. If you’re able to do it, then do it! (Minimum wage will not benefit you in the only run!) Your life does not end when you have a baby! 👶🏽 Finally, do whatever is right for you. Only you will know, other people will have opinions but you have to live with the decisions that you make xx

@Ellie just read your comment and thought I’d share. If you’re looking for additional support at any time, you can access your local children centres. Not only are the sessions amazing for a number of reasons, you might also be able to get referrals or signposted to charities, grants, baby banks, food bank, employment support, benefit checking services, parenting support and so much more. Most children centres also have coffee mornings, baby massage, stay and play, parenting events, advocacy, buddying support and so on. Pregnant related to (so can use now)! They’re also good if you live in small spaces or no outdoor spaces (especially in winter when parks are no go!). You socialise, meet other mums, you learn from each other/from professionals and the children! These environments are designed to support the development of baby but also of mums and parents! There will be messy play, wet play, sand slime, sensory and lots more! And of course will be age appropriate!

Just to let you know that for the sure start grant of £500, you have to be in receipt of UC, so UC have to make a payment to you before the grant will be paid. I had this problem and that’s what I was told x

Heyy. I had my first baby at 16 she’s now 3 turning 4 this year. It wasn’t easy but I also moved out 1 month before turning 17. I went to mother and baby unit and got given a council house when I turned 18. I had my second baby at 19. She’s now 13 months old. Honestly being a mom in general isn’t easy. I m now 20 and love it. Talking about jobs it’s hard to get a job unless you want me to put you through babysitting jobs. And universal credit like others say that’s for when baby is born and maternity grant. Also if you want to make mommy friends I m here in Sandwell too