Pushing other children

I don't have much of an advice but as someone who very frequently sees other children pushing my own child I'm hesitant to see how this concerned mother was doing it "in quite an aggressive way" as your child is literally pushing others around. Wasn't he the aggressive one? I obvs don't know you but it boils my blood to see this especially when the bullies' moms sit around on their phones or smile as if it's supposed to be funny. If your child doesn't know how to play nicely maybe you need to go on all slides with him to supervise him and course correct as it happens instead of having someone else do it for you

How rude! I was in the play area with him, watching and as stated in the post, telling him to stop pushing. For you information, the other parent was physically closer to my child, got in his face, and raised her voice. So before you call my 2 year old child a bully and critique my parenting, maybe you should keep your ‘advice’ to yourself

What's rude is you calling a protective mother aggressive when it's YOUR child pushing everyone else. All I'm hearing in your comment is "MEMEME" have you stopped and thought about this from her pov? What if her child is special needs and getting pushed around in what was supposed to be a safe space for everyone to play? My LGs best friend is super shy and It's taken her so much to get out of her shell and play with other kids or even to feel comfortable in public setting. Being pushed around would destroy her confidence. Yet, you're making out as you're the victim in this situation and I'm being rude. Doesn't matter how old the child is, if they start to show bullying tendencies it has to be addressed immediately. Instead of calling others aggressive take a better look into his behaviour. The world does not revolve around you. If telling him to stop pushing doesn't work, maybe it's time to try something different. I just don't understand why other children have to suffer because you won'tdiscipline your kid.

If you wanted people to keep their advise to themselves, you wouldn't have posted. I actually did include advice at the end of my first comment. But you feel critiqued and judged. That doesn't make me rude. Let's just call what it is. You wanted assurance that it's ok to push other kids around, see how many others are experiencing the same and what a good mother you are to care so deeply about the wellbeing of others (still can't see this anywhere btw) and my comment wasn't it. And that's literally why you're now calling me rude! The whole world is against you, huh? Tell that to the children being pushed around.

Wow. I thought this app was supposed to be for parents supporting others. Clearly not. My post was intended to get advice from others who may have been in a similar position, not to get rude comments from parents who think they’re better than everyone else. Never once did I say I agreed with the behaviour and if you read the post properly, you would see that I constantly check him and tell him to stop, but was looking for an alternative so other children aren’t uncomfortable. I hope if you ever find yourself in a place where you want to reach out for help, you’re met with helpful comments, and not rude, vile and disrespectful remarks like what you have left.

Hi, sorry that you're having a tricky time with your little one. My lo has a tendency to grab and whilst he wouldn't push kids his age or older over, he can do it his little brother. The word bully is completely inappropriate and so far from the mark, these are toddlers and sometimes you can hover all you want, these things happen. I've never met a parent who has told off my child or had my child told off my someone else. The word bully is banded around a lot, I'm a teacher and often we get parents saying their child has been bullied and in reality it's a one off event, which although not okay, also not bullying. However I am a parent that hovers around my child in play gyms as I'm aware he can't always be kind when he feels something is his etc and id hate for it to get to the point of him hurting another child, so my only suggestion really is to be glued to him until the phase is over, which will happen.

@Indre no, you never offered advise. You insinuated that I was a lazy parent, sat on my phone, allowing my child to hurt others. Not the case. I never asked for reassurance that it was okay for my child to hurt others. Who in the world would? I simply asked if anyone else had found themselves in a similar situation and if there was any useful advice to stop. You jumped to a conclusion and gave a negative response

Also I know this can't happen in a play gym but what has worked for us at home is that when he 'moves his brother out the way' we give big attention and cuddles to his little brother and ignore him completely and he's naturally started coming over and asking if his little brother is okay and so it seems for us like the pushing over was to do with wanting attention when it's been given to his brother. Obviously afterwards we say that pushing over is bad and that his brother was sad etc, but it's made the apology and empathy natural and not us asking for it so I feel the understanding is there more now.

I am supporting parents, but this time, I chose to support the parent whose child was pushed. That's different. What really annoyed me in your post was that you immediately called the other parent aggressive, when from your post it seemed like it's your child who could be perceived aggressive. You calling me rude only got my back up as I've been on the other side of this so many times and I just don't see you even trying to understand what it would mean to see your own kid being pushed around. I did mean what I said in my first post - maybe you should accompany him to all the rides/slides so you're there to address the behaviour as it happens and hopefully prevent ir from happening in the first place

@Sophie I get your point but as op said in her post, her child was "pushing ALL of the other children". One offs do happen, of course. No one is perfect, but it seems like a pattern, so I am standing by what I said. It's ok if everyone disagree. I feel like sometimes people need to stand up to what they believe is right. And I don't believe me saying it was "vile"

@Indre I would say calling someone a lazy parent and their child a bully is rude. A stranger shouting in my child’s face and pointing their finger at him, is aggressive. Anyway, thanks for your ‘help’ and ‘support’. Have a nice day.

I never called You specifically lazy, let's just agree to that. But I've witnessed others who sit around on their phones and even if they notice questionable behaviour by their child they just smile and say "oh he's just so cheeky" and go back to their phone. Never said it was you nor call you that. And I did offer advise in my first comment which is similar to the one from other commentator but I guess because I didn't jump to your kids defence is meaningless?

As for the bully comment, I feel a bit set up. Yes, I've said it, and I stand by it, but you start your post by saying he "pushes other children a lot" and " he does push and sometimes it can look aggressive to others". It seems to me that it happens a lot and is aggressive so yes I used the word bully.

@Sophie thank you. With the best will in the world, toddlers will push and grab. I’m always with him (I still feel like he’s too small and it’s too dangerous for him to be in play areas unsupervised) and always prevent when I can see him about to push anyone, and tell him no, move him away etc if it does it. I am a teacher too, and agree, the word ‘bully’ is banded around far too often. I don’t think 2 year olds are bullies while they are learning boundaries in society. I was simply looking for someone who may have been in a similar situation or could offer advice different to what I am already doing - thank you!

Oh my god he’s two, he’s not a bully 🙄 clearly there are some perfect parents with perfect children here. It’s developmentally normal behaviour, and YES obviously we need to correct it and help them learn, but it doesn’t make the child bad or the parent lazy. All I would say is to hover as closely as you can and do your best, and remove him when you need to. My boy went through a horrible phase of biting, but you can’t just not take them anywhere, or how will they ever learn to socialise appropriately? I hovered over him like a hawk. The phase will improve and pass eventually. Sending solidarity!

OP sorry your child has been called a bully, as lots have stated its developmentally normal behaviour. When my child touches another or vice versa in am aggressive way I just pick him up and carry him off. If he's the aggressor, I say no, we don't play if you can't play nicely, and if he was pushed or hit by another child I just take him away from the situation and tell him I'm sorry it happened to him as it's not up to me to discipline another child.

Also sending solidarity! These situations are hard to navigate! I have noticed this start to work with my kid though as he has to stop playing and think about how a shove or hit would hurt

@Danielle I agree. There’s never a need to call a child you don’t know a bully. Thank you! It’s easy to start to think that your child is the only one that shows negative behaviour. Hopefully some consistency will be key!

@Rachel thank you, for an app that’s supposed to promote positivity and support to other parents seeking advice, it’s a shame other parents come on here and call children names! Like I said in my first post, he thinks it’s funny and a game, but obviously he can’t behave like that and other children will be upset by him. But, there’s still no need to call him a bully. I think my next step is to start removing him from where we are and see if that helps

Imagine calling a 2 year old a bully… Mine is 2.5 and can get handsy at times, it’s developmentally normal and I think all you can do is advise it’s wrong, redirect and introduce natural consequences. Mine gets a warning, “that wasn’t kind, we use kind hands and feet otherwise we hurt other people.” If he does it again, “you know that’s not kind, and if we can’t use kind hands and feet we won’t be able to play here anymore. If it happens again, we need to leave.” If he does it again, I follow through with the natural consequence of leaving, and I explain why as we’re doing so. If he asks again later about doing whatever we were doing, I say “we were doing that, and I know it was fun but you weren’t using your kind hands so we had to leave, because I can’t let you be unkind to other people.” We went through a really rough patch about 8 months ago where at our local playgroup he was hitting kids, throwing toys at them and pushing them over. I left in tears after 15 mins on one (1/2)

(2/2) of the weeks as I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I’m so fortunate that it was a small and very understanding playgroup, where the other mums have now become good friends. They all messaged me after to make sure I was ok and to reassure me it was all normal. It felt like it wouldn’t end, but it did! He still occasionally is handsy (because two years old, NOT bully 😂) but for the most part he’s very gentle with other kids now. It is perfectly normal, you’re absolutely doing the right thing and it will stop!

MyLB is abit soft, never sticks up for himself, he's been pushed several times, but i'm always there. I'm grateful for parents who correct behaviour& apologise to me for it. There have been times where parent hasn't seen or laughs and plays it down like it's OK behaviour, it isn't. I have said loudly before oh no we don't push others, and taken my son away or redirected him. I agree with others, stay close to them and correct the behaviour, if it carries on remove them. There was a kid who was in sand pit at a farm. My LB took 1 of his 2 spades he walked away from. He kept following him around, knocking down his sand castles, frowning, shouting in his face. After 10mins we went to the swings, his mum was chatting on the edge, didn't notice or care about behaviour. He was looking around for myLB for a while. We were like woah this kids targeting is excessive. Toddlers definitely have different personality traits at this age, but behaviour can be changed. Good luck!

@Jade I know, name calling babies is ridiculous! I’m sorry that you went through something similar. We are always with him, watching and talking to him, but on this occasion the other adult was physically closer to my little boy. I suppose it can be normal behaviour for children this age, and he truly does think he’s playing with other children, he hasn’t got a bad bone in his body! We just need to keep going through this tricky stage for the time being!

@Erica I’m sorry that happened to your little boy! That sounds awful, and that parent definitely should be watching him if he’s behaving in that way! There have been a few times we’re I’ve had to tell other children to be more mindful of others too - and I know my little one certainly isn’t perfect when he’s playing with others. I wouldn’t have minded if this parent was kinder in the way she spoke to him, but I completely disagreed with her shouting and getting in his face. We’ll just keep going with the redirecting and removing him and hopefully he stops soon enough!